Quiz: Should you get married?

By Caroline Jones 5/09/2008

The Queen and Prince Philip
Up your chances of wedded bliss by asking your intended these questions before tying the knot

(1) Do we have good sex?

Why: The importance of being sexually compatible shouldn’t be underestimated. Although there is no way of predicting the future when it comes your libidos, if right now one of you wants sex every night and the other once a month, this could cause serious problems long-term.

For a happy marriage, try to match your sexual needs as closely as possible – or find a compromise you’re both happy with.

Deal breaker: If you’re already having sexual problems, don’t get married until it’s sorted.

(2) Do you have debts I don’t know about?

Why: Money is probably the biggest cause of rows between couples. Marrying someone with debts isn’t necessarily a no-no – as long as they have a decent plan for paying it off. But a long history of unpaid debts should make you think twice. It’s also important to thrash out details such as whether you want joint or separate bank accunts and savings plans. The key is whether you can talk calmly and practically about money.

Deal breaker: If your partner refuses to talk about money, postpone your wedding until he will.

(3) How happy was your childhood?

Why: We learn our beliefs about what makes for a happy marriage and family life from our parents. Studies show that people whose parents had happy marriages are less likely to divorce, while the divorce risk triples if both parties come from a broken home.

This doesn’t mean you shouldn’t marry someone whose parents divorced, but it makes sense to have a serious conversation about how it’s affected his views on marriage beforehand.

Deal breaker: If your partner has unresolved issues about his childhood or hates his parents, don’t rush into marriage as family problems often repeat themselves.

(4) Can you stay faithful?

Why: Open marriages work for a few but most people expect monogamy. If your future husband and you have differing opinions on what cheating is or isn’t, it needs thrashing out.

Deal breaker: If your partner’s already been unfaithful, a ring on his finger is no guarantee he won’t stray again. See if you can build the trust back before you take the plunge.

(5) Do you want kids?

Why: It should ring alarm bells if you don’t agree on whether to have children or not. Thinking that you can deal with this issue later is a mistake. And making a sneaky decision to have a baby when one person doesn’t want to isn’t fair to the child or relationship.

Once you’ve decided you both want kids, it’s also crucial to have discussed issues such as whether childcare requires one parent to stay at home permanently, if you’re in favour of smacking and if religion will be part of their upbringing.

Advertisement – article continues below »

Deal breaker: If your partner is adamant about not having kids but you want them – or vice versa – don’t marry. The resentment will kill your relationship.

(6) How do you want to spend our free time?

Why: If you have completely different ideas on what the weekend is for, you have a problem. Similarly with holidays, if one of you yearns for a week in the Maldives, the other visiting churches in Cornwall, you need to square it now.

Balancing work and family time is never easy, so the more you have in common here the fewer rows.

Compromise is key, which could mean agreeing to take it turns to pick holiday destinations.

Deal breaker: If your partner is a workaholic who never takes time off, you’ll be signing up for a lifetime of holidays alone. Similarly if you feel strongly about something your partner refuses to stop (drinking with his mates or staying late at work), you’re in for years of rows and resentment.

(7) How much time will we spend with our in-laws?

Why: It’s amazing how many problems difficult in-laws can cause for even the most happily married couples.

You need to discuss how much time you expect to spend around each other’s parents – including when grandchildren come on the scene.

Plus, what about caring for them as they age? Would you happily have them live with you or prefer a nursing home? It’s important to discuss this now.

Deal breaker: If you hate his parents but he’s very close to them, is marrying into the family is going to work?

(8) Will you clean the loo?

Why: A lifetime with a partner who won’t do their fair share around the house is miserable, so find out now what his attitude to housework is. If the answer is “Isn’t that your job?” you can either accept you’ll be doing 99 per cent of the chores, or try to find out why that’s his attitude. Often, if men grow up watching their mother doing everything, they assume that’s the norm. See if you can negotiate ‘his’ and ‘her’ jobs.

Deal breaker: If this doesn’t work, call it off. It’s another issue that doesn’t suddenly get better after you wed.

(9) Where do you want to live?

Why: Because you’re unlikely to stay in the same house or town forever, you need to know if you agree on potential locations. If one of you wants to move closer to their parents, how does the other feel? Perhaps you live in the city now, but dream of escaping to the country? You should also talk about how you’d cope if your job relocated to another town or even country.

Deal breaker: If you’re certain you want to live in the UK, but your partner’s desperate to be abroad.

(10) How do you see retirement?

Why: It might seem years off, but according to the Office for National Statistics, there’s been a rise in couples divorcing after they reach pension age. This is often because they’ve got incompatible ideas of how to spend their ‘golden years’. Although plans change, it’s a good idea to find out now if your dream of a villa in Spain chimes with his plan to take up trainspotting.

Deal breaker: If your future spouse won’t discuss this, you need to have a serious talk about long-lasting marriage expectations.

Miss USA’s gay marriage controversy
Just when I thought nothing could ever make me care about the Miss USA pageant ever again, Perez Hilton goes and makes it kind of interesting.

Acting as a celebrity judge for the competition, which aired on NBC last night, Hilton asked Miss California Carrie Prejean (previously rumored to be a favorite, in case you weren’t keeping track) her opinion on same-sex marriage. Prejean had the decency to look a little stressed as she came up with this somewhat garbled, ultimately obnoxious response, for which she got both cheers and boos:

“I think it’s great that Americans are able to choose one or the other. We live in a land that you can choose same-sex marriage or opposite marriage and, you know what, in my country and my family I think that I believe that a marriage should be between a man and a woman. No offense to anyone out there but that’s how I was raised and that’s how I think it should be, between a man and a woman.”

So, three cheers for “opposite marriage,” then?

Hilton, in a video blog on his site, decided once more to forgo that lofty high road, calling Prejean a “dumb bitch” and claiming it was the “worst answer in pageant history,” which has prompted at least one staunch gay marriage opponent — that is, Michelle Malkin — to demand he issue an apology.

Prejean came in second place to aspiring motivational speaker Kristen Dalton

Sexual abuse – don’t hide it
Don’t hide it! That’s the message behind the NSPCC’s latest campaign against sexual abuse. But what is sexual abuse? And where can you turn to if you think it’s happening to you? Children First for Health investigates…

A new NSPCC study shows that 16 per cent of young people have experienced some form of sexual abuse. Yet in reality the figure is probably much higher than this, as people often don’t like to talk about, or report what is happening to them.

One of the main reasons is because sexual abuse is still a very taboo subject and sometimes it can be difficult to find someone you trust and open up to. But help is at hand according to policy manager Lucy Thorpe at the NCPCC.

What’s not OK and what is?

Sometimes young people are sexually abused without actually realising it. Sexual abuse can cover a wide range of different things from “stroking, touching, kissing and having sex; basically any unwanted sexual activity,” points out Lucy.

What’s not OK?
When a person has sex with you
When a person gets you to watch porn movies
When a person takes pictures of your private parts
When a person strokes your private body parts
When a person kisses or touches you
When a person watches you without any clothes on
When a person wants you to talk dirty
Courtesy of NSPCC.

This can be OK
When someone touches you on the arm
When someone hugs you
When a parent or carer washes your private parts because you can’t do it yourself
When someone gives you sweets
If you have sex with someone your own age and you both think it’s OK
Courtesy of NSPCC.

Who does it happen to?

Sexual abuse can happen to boys and girls of all ages but it increases around the age of 13. This is the time when you start to get boyfriends and girlfriends and experiment with sex. But according to Lucy, it’s important to remember that if you are being abused it is never your fault. It is usually a case of being in the wrong place at the wrong time. Sex abuse tends to happen because of problems with the person who abuses, not the person they abuse. Unfortunately it can sometimes make you lose your confidence and feel bad about yourself. You may feel dirty and even blame yourself for what is happening. This is totally natural but it doesn’t make it right.

Who does it?

You may be frightened and told by your abuser that it’s a secret and that you shouldn’t tell anyone,” explains Lucy. But you must try and get help soon and speak up!
Sexual abuse tends to happen to people by someone they know like their dad, brothers, boyfriends, uncles or even teachers. Stranger danger is a bit of a myth and chances are you probably already know that person. Abusers tend to choose to work with young people. Sometimes they may pick on people who are on their own or have already been bullied.

“You may be frightened and told by your abuser that it’s a secret and that you shouldn’t tell anyone,” explains Lucy. “In some extreme cases they may even say something bad or life threatening will happen to you if you dare to speak up. But this is not case and you must try and get help soon.”

Speak up

Speaking up can be very difficult but by doing so you can stop the cycle of abuse and start to get better and enjoy life again. Some people might not feel they can approach a family member or friend and if this is the case Childline runs a free confidential service. They can offer you advice on the best way of dealing with your individual situation. They can also help if you feel in danger or need immediate help. Alternatively try speaking to a doctor, teacher or the local police. There is also a website with real stories from the NSPCC which you may find helpful. www.donthideit.com

Will my family or I be in danger?

If you speak up you and your family will not be in danger and you won’t get anyone into trouble. A social worker will explain what will happen to you and tell you your rights. The person that is abusing will need to recognise that what they are doing is wrong and they may be sent away for some time. You may also need to go away to be safe for a little while. But this will hopefully stop what is happening to you and make the situation better.

Remember it’s your body and you should always have a say if someone can touch you or not!

Surviving sexual abuse

Sexual abuse is a serious crime and can have many short and long term effects on a victim or survivor. The effects of sexual abuse are not the same for every person. People may feel a variety of emotions that depend on their own circumstances.
If you are currently at risk or in a situation of abuse and live in South Australia, you can call 131 444 for Police assistance.
For further assistance in South Australia you can call:
Crisis Care – 13 16 11
Youth Healthline – 1300 13 17 19
Kids Helpline (if you are under 18 years) – 1800 55 1800
Lifeline – 13 11 14
Yarrow Place Rape and Sexual Assault Service (if you are over 16)
- 8226 8777 or after hours 8226 8787; country callers – 1800 817 421
If you would like to report sexual abuse to the Families SA Child Abuse Report Line, please phone 13 1478.
In other states and countries please call your local crisis service or police service.
You can ask for help from these services even if the abuse happened some time ago.

Sexual abuse
Sexual abuse can be physical, verbal and/or emotional. It is an abuse of power and often of trust by someone who uses another person for his or her own sexual pleasure. Sexual assault refers to any unwanted actions that are of a sexual nature that make the victim feel frightened or hurt them in some way.

What kinds of things are sexual abuse?
Everyone has the right to feel safe all the time. If someone is making you feel uncomfortable or unsafe, then it could be sexual abuse.
So, what might be happening? It could involve:
having parts of your body touched in a sexual way
being kissed inappropriately, in a way that makes you feel uncomfortable
being told to touch parts of your own body
being made to touch parts of another person’s body
being made to watch someone masturbate or touch their own body in a sexual way
being made, by coercion or physical force, to act or model for pornographic purposes, or to watch pornographic material
being watched while showering or changing
putting objects (including penis and fingers) in the anus or mouth, and for young women, the vagina
making you have sex, or do sexual things with other people (rape)
making sexual comments and suggestions to you
sending sexual comments or suggestions to you via SMS or email.

Sexual abuse, sexual assault and the law
Sexual assault, rape and sexual abuse are illegal. The law says that if you did not freely agree to any sexual acts, then you have not said ‘yes’. Legally you can only agree to sexual acts if you are over 17 years old.
It is not OK for someone to offer money, favours or gifts to try and get you to do sexual things that you do not want to do. It is not OK for someone to blackmail you, use physical force or threaten you or people you care about, to get you to do something which makes you feel uncomfortable or makes you feel bad about yourself.
When people sexually abuse others, they know what they are doing and they should know that it is against the law.

Who abuses young people?
The commonly held stereotype of a sexual abuser is that of an old man in a raincoat hanging around in parks. The reality is that most sexual abuse is done by people known to the victims. Men and women who sexually abuse young people are of many different ages and appearances.
No person, male or female, young or old, has the right to make any young person do sexual things they would not have freely chosen to do.
You have the right to say NO.

Can you keep yourself safe?
Remember that everyone has the right to feel safe all the time.
When you were in primary school, you probably did some lessons with your teacher about keeping yourself safe.
You would have made a list of trusted adults, starting with people in your life with whom you felt able to talk, even about the secret stuff in your mind.
You would have asked those people if they felt OK about being your trusted adult.
Maybe you would have added adults in your life at school: teachers, school counsellors or the school chaplain.
Maybe you would have added your doctor, sports coaches or any adults outside the family who you knew would listen, keep your confidence and help you when needed.
Finally, you would have made a list, like the one in this topic, of organisations that could help you.
As a class you probably spent some time thinking about ‘what you could do if…’ in lots of different situations, and then wrote down and sorted through ideas about how to keep safe and help you sort out the problem.
The last things you would have learnt were:
telling someone about your problem was the first step to solving it.
to tell and keep on telling until something is done.

Coming forward – why is it hard to tell?
Some young people feel that if they disclose (tell someone about what happened) they will be harshly judged by those around them. Sometimes they feel like they are to blame in some way. Often the abuser will say things like, “He/she was asking for it by wearing clothes like that, or behaving like that”, or “She/he made me think it was OK”.
No one can make anyone think sexual abuse is OK. People choose what they want to think or do.
What is important is to remember that sexual abuse is an abuse of power and it is not your fault.
People who abuse may use tactics to stop you telling anybody about what has happened to you. Some of these may include the following:
making threats of violence to you or your family
giving you gifts, money or favours to keep you from telling anybody
making friends with your family
convincing you that it was your fault
convincing you that it will be bad for you and your family if you tell someone
threatening that you will lose your job
threatening to send or post information about you (including photos of you) on the Internet
sending threatening text messages.
Not telling anybody when something happened does not mean that you are weak or stupid, that you wanted it, or that you could have stopped it. It may have been the safest option for you at the time. But when you are ready, it does help to tell a trusted person about what has happened – this person may be able to protect you in the future, or help you to come to terms with what has happened.

What are the effects?
The effects of sexual abuse can vary a great deal. You could be reminded of the abuse in many different ways and at different times, and often this might feel out of your control. Even if you have access to help that you find supportive, it will not take the past away, but may lessen the long term negative effects and help you to develop more coping skills. Choose someone you feel completely comfortable with, who respects you and listens to you, to help you through this very difficult time.
Relationships
The abuse may have been perpetrated by someone you knew, making you feel unsure and afraid of trusting anyone again.
Poor self-perception
Your self-esteem or view of yourself may have changed, and would be different to that of someone who has not experienced such trauma. You may feel really bad and lose confidence in yourself.
Nightmares or flashbacks
It is common to experience nightmares, and for memories of what happened to come at unpredictable times. Things such as places, smells, rooms, or clothes can remind you or trigger memories of the abuse.
The topic Post Traumatic Stress Disorder may be useful if you have these sorts of feelings.
Sexual abuse also puts people at risk of sexually transmitted infections, and for girls, an unwanted pregnancy.

What am I feeling?
As there can be so many effects from sexual abuse, you can have a difficult time emotionally dealing with so much at once. You may believe that the abuse has not affected you, but then you might feel emotions that you can’t explain, or have sudden mood swings.
Fear
You may have felt a very strong sense of fear at the time of the abuse because of the abuser.
You may not have spoken out in order to protect yourself, fearing that you would be at more risk if the abuser found out that you reported it or told someone.
Anger
You may feel angry toward the abuser who has done this to you.
You may feel angry toward yourself, thinking that you should have been able to stop it from happening.
Isolation
Although many people experience sexual abuse, it is common to feel alone and isolated since most people do not talk about it.
Knowing that there are other people you can relate to may help you to not feel so isolated.
Sadness
You may feel sad about the invasion into your privacy, and for the loss of your rights.
Guilt
Guilt is a terrible emotion to feel during or after a sexually abusive situation, and must be reversed.
The abuser should feel guilty, not you. Abuse of any form is about power, not about sex.
If you are feeling guilty, then the abuse will still be living strongly within you and it is important to change this. A counsellor may be able to help, and a good friend can be helpful too.
Confused
With all those emotions, it might be fair to feel confused. If the abuser was someone you were once close to, you may even still feel love for them, or not know what to think.
Do not be hard on yourself for feeling confused. Remember, you are a survivor.

What if I felt like I enjoyed it?
Some young people worry because their bodies may appear to become sexually aroused by what is happening to them, even though it frightens them. This is a physical reaction and it is your body’s way of coping with the situation. This does not mean that you wanted or enjoyed the abuse.

Will I become an abuser too?
Often in the media they make it seem that young people who are sexually abused go on to become abusers themselves. This is not true and the link between the two is in no way proven. You have a choice about whether this is true for you. There is no reason to believe that if you have been abused you will become a perpetrator of abuse in the future. You have control over your life and can make choices based on what is right for you.

On the road again to healing your self-esteem
It is time to get back in contact with the ‘real’ you. Get to know yourself again. Put what you want as a high priority. Here are some things you could ask yourself as you get ‘on the road’ to healing your self-esteem:
What things do I like to do?
Who is a good person to talk to when I need it?
What things do I value or believe in?
What is my personality like? How would someone describe me?
What am I good at? (Talking, reading, playing tennis, being messy?)
Do I want to talk to a counsellor?
Would I like to join a support group?
Do I want to read some books on self-esteem or sexual abuse?

Helping someone
If someone you know has decided to tell you that they have survived sexual abuse, chances are it was one of the most difficult things they have ever had to do, and that they trust you heaps! It may also freak you out! You may feel that it is too difficult for you to talk about, or you don’t know what to say.
Make sure they know you believe them.
Listen to what they say, and do not expect them to tell you everything about the experience to prove that what they are saying is true.
Acknowledge what has happened, what they are saying and what they are feeling.
Encourage them to seek support, but don’t pressure them.
Be open to helping them but be clear with each other about what you can and cannot do.
Don’t put pressure on yourself thinking that you must come up with solutions for your friend’s complex issues.
Reassure the person that he or she has survived a huge trauma and therefore is a strong and courageous person. Acknowledge the courage it has taken to talk to you.
If you are worried and don’t know what to do to help your friend, it may be a good idea for you to talk to one of your trusted adults or ring any of the numbers listed on this page.
It is not a good idea to talk to other friends in your group. How would you feel if someone told your other friends about something you had said in confidence?

Sex and sexual relationships
Being subjected to sexual abuse can get you feeling very confused about the whole idea of sexuality and intimacy. You may feel a variety of emotions if you are presented with making a decision about sexual intimacy. You may find difficulty trusting someone enough to become intimate. It would probably be helpful to talk with a counsellor about this.
Does this mean I’m gay?
A common misconception is that if a young man is sexually abused by a man, it means that you become sexually attracted to men. Being attracted to other men is not related to whether or not you were sexually abused by men. Being same-sex attracted is about love and forming positive relationships. Being raped or abused does not need to impact on whether you are attracted to men or women.

Opinions on marriage & long term relationships

Question Posted Tuesday April 10 2007, 1:03 am

Okay, so I’ve been wondering about something & I wanted to hear you guys opinions.

My boyfriend & I have been together for five years & we are both twenty one. I love him, I’m in love with him & there is no one else I’d rather be with. We’re still young so we don’t really talk about marriage but here & there we do say things like “when we get married…” & stuff like that. The other day when we were together we were talking about weddings & how my culture’s weddings differ from his & he said he’d want to get married at a court house because it doesn’t cost a lot. Then he said or he’d want to get married on an island & only our close relatives would be invited, like his mom & my mom. I know I want to marry him in the future & I’ve never straight up asked him “do you wanna marry me” but I think, well, if he’s been in a relationship this long with me doesn’t that obviously mean something? Like apparently he wants a future with me if he’s been by my side for five years now? But then again I think, just because we’ve been together for so long doesn’t mean marriage is definite, you know?

So my question is, do you guys think that when a couple has been together for so long that it means marriage is in the future? Are people in long relationships because they want to get married eventually? Ugh, in my head I know what I’m trying to ask but I can’t seem to get it out the way I want it to but I guess these questions will do. Haha. Thanks for reading this & all opinions are appreciated!

[ Answer this question ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
This question should be about “Romance a mess? Welcome to the club!”
If it is in the wrong category, click here(coming soon) to report it.

Xenolan answered Friday April 13 2007, 11:23 pm:
I can give you Sabine’s story from the other side. See, I’m the guy she married.

In my case, the reason why I needed a nudge to ask her to marry me (and it really was more a mutual decision) was because it simply didn’t occur to me on its own. I felt like I was still a very young guy (I’ve always felt younger than I am) and that marriage just wasn’t in my immediate future. I was also pretty comfortable with our relationship as it was, and didn’t feel a great push to change things.

When she said “I won’t be your girlfriend forever” it got me thinking seriously about whether I WANTED it to be forever, and the more I thought about it the more I came to realize that I did. This was someone I loved very much, who I would be pleased and proud to call my wife, who I shared much in common with. We shared a common morality and ideals. I knew she would be a wonderful mother. We appreciated each others’ sense of humor. We had great sex. We had problems, but we could deal with them. I married her and have never regretted it.

These are the kinds of things a guy will start thinking about when the idea of marriage becomes a reality instead of an abstraction. It seems to me that the two of you have been talking about WEDDINGS, which is very, very different from talking about MARRIAGE. In order to find out whether the two of you really will make it for the long term, you need to think about how you’ll be after the honeymoon. You’ll need to talk about how you’ll support yourselves and live independently, how many children you want and how you’ll raise them, where you will live and work and go to church, and what’s really important to you in the long run. You’ll need to think about the joys that come during all of your lives yet to come, and whether you can live with this guy for sixty-plus years without wanting to kill him.

When you’re talking about THAT stuff, then you’re talking about marriage. Until then, you’re just in a long-term relationship. If you can’t sit down and discuss what will really happen when you share your lives together, then one or both of you isn’t ready for marriage – and if that’s the case after five years, you probably never will be.

As the therapist a free question!

Ask The therapist a question about anything you want at no cost to you, just enclose your email so your question can be answered.

We look forward to hearing from you.

ACT Professional counseling

Close Encounters Of The Intimate Kind

A young man and woman have only been married for two days. One night, just as they are getting ready to go to bed, they hear a noise in the backyard, kind of like a vacuum cleaner in reverse. They put on their robes and run outside, there, hovering over the lawn is a flying saucer. It lands, and two tall, beautiful silver aliens get out. Obviously a male and a female, and according to earth standard, quite beautiful.

They explain to the newlyweds that they need to stay overnight to effect repairs to their ship. The young couple agrees, and invite the aliens in for a snack. The aliens agree, but say that it would only be sociable to then invite the newlyweds for a snack.

“We will invite you aboard our spacecraft, but you must abide by our customs. You must stay the night, and it is only courteous that we change partners for the night.”

The newlyweds talk it over and agree. That night, the wife is with the male alien. He undresses and she stares at his perfect body. Then her gaze crosses his groin, and a look of disappointment comes over her.

“Is there something wrong?” asks the alien.

“Well, you seem so … uh… small.”

“No problem,” replies the alien, he twists his ear and his organ grows longer.

The woman still seems disappointed. She indicates she would like the alien to be “wider.” He twists the other ear and grows wider.

The next morning over breakfast, the wife tells her husband what a wonderful night she had with the alien, and that she can hardly wait to share some of the techniques with her husband the next night.

“Honey, how was your night?” she asks.

“Terrible.” he said. “The female alien was truly beautiful, but all she did was twist my ears all night long.”

Diary Of A Mad Viagra Housewife

Dear Diary:

Day 1
Just celebrated our 25th wedding anniversary with not much to celebrate. When it came time to reenact our wedding night, HE locked himself in the bathroom and cried.

Day 2
Today he says he has a big secret to tell me. He’s impotent, he says, and he wants me to be the first to know. Why doesn’t he tell me something I DON’T know! I mean, gimme a break. He’s been dysfunctional for so long, he even WALKS with a limp.

Day 3
This marriage is in trouble. A woman has needs. Yesterday, I saw a picture of the Washington Monument and burst into tears.

Day 4
A miracle has happened! There’s a new drug on the market that will fix his “problem.” It’s called Viagra. I told him that if he takes Viagra, things will be just like they were on our wedding night. He said, “This time, I’d rather not have your mother join us.” (I think this will work. I replaced his Prozac with the Viagra, hoping to lift something other than his mood.)

Day 7
This Viagra thing has gone to his head. (No pun intended.) Yesterday, at Burger King, the manager asked me if I’d like a Whopper. He thought they were talking about him. GET OVER YOURSELF! Not everything is about you!

Day 8
I think he took too many over the weekend. Yesterday, instead of mowing the lawn, he was using his new friend as a weed wacker.

Day 10
Okay, I admit it. I’m hiding. I mean, a girl can only take so much. And to make matters worse, he’s washing the Viagra down with Hard Cider! The photo of Janet Reno isn’t working. What am I gonna do?

Day 11
The side effects are starting to get to him. Everything is turning blue. The other day, we were watching Kenneth Branaugh in Hamlet and he thought it was The Smurfs Do Denmark.

Day 12
I’m basically being drilled to death. It’s like going out with Black and Decker.

Day 13
I wish he was gay. I bought 400 Liza Minelli albums and I keep saying “fabulous” and still he keeps coming after me!

Day 14
Now I know how Saddam Hussein’s wife feels. Every time I shut my eyes, there’s a sneak attack! It’s like going to bed with a scud missile. Let’s hope he’s like President Bush and pulls out in 100 days.

Day 15
I’ve done everything to turn him off. Nothing is working. I even started dressing like a nun. Now he tells me sister Wendy revs his motor.

Day 16
I may just have to kill him. Then he’ll go out the way he wants to: stiff. With my luck, I won’t be able to close the casket.

A “White” Wedding

A couple was planning their upcoming wedding. This was to be a huge wedding with about 300 guests, therefore extra arrangements had to be made to accommodate all the guests.

The day finally came (as it usually does) and the ceremony went off without a hitch: everyone showed up on time, the flowers were perfect, the caterers arrived prepared with enough food, and (most importantly) no one objected during the ceremony.

After the wedding at the reception, the groom got up on stage at the microphone to talk to the crowd.

He said that he wanted to thank everyone for coming, many from long distances, to support them at their wedding. He especially wanted to thank the bride’s and groom’s families for coming.

To thank everyone for coming and bring gifts and everything, he said he wanted to give everyone a gift from him. So taped to the bottom of everyone’s chair was a manila envelope. He said that was his gift to everyone, and told them to open it.

Inside the manila envelope was an 8×10 picture of his best man having sex with the bride. (He must have gotten suspicious of the two of them and hired a private detective to trail them.) After he stood there and watched people’s reactions for a couple of minutes, he turned to the best man and the bride and said thank you for a time to remember, and then said I’m out of here.

He got the marriage annulled the next day.

While most of us would have broken it off immediately after we found out about the affair, this guy goes through with in anyway. His revenge: making the bride’s parents pay for a 300 guest wedding and reception, letting everyone know exactly what did happen, and trashing the bride’s and best man’s reputations in front of friends, family, grandparents, etc.

This is his world, we just live in it.

opinions on marriage & long term relationships

Question Posted Tuesday April 10 2007, 1:03 am

Okay, so I’ve been wondering about something & I wanted to hear you guys opinions.

My boyfriend & I have been together for five years & we are both twenty one. I love him, I’m in love with him & there is no one else I’d rather be with. We’re still young so we don’t really talk about marriage but here & there we do say things like “when we get married…” & stuff like that. The other day when we were together we were talking about weddings & how my culture’s weddings differ from his & he said he’d want to get married at a court house because it doesn’t cost a lot. Then he said or he’d want to get married on an island & only our close relatives would be invited, like his mom & my mom. I know I want to marry him in the future & I’ve never straight up asked him “do you wanna marry me” but I think, well, if he’s been in a relationship this long with me doesn’t that obviously mean something? Like apparently he wants a future with me if he’s been by my side for five years now? But then again I think, just because we’ve been together for so long doesn’t mean marriage is definite, you know?

So my question is, do you guys think that when a couple has been together for so long that it means marriage is in the future? Are people in long relationships because they want to get married eventually? Ugh, in my head I know what I’m trying to ask but I can’t seem to get it out the way I want it to but I guess these questions will do. Haha. Thanks for reading this & all opinions are appreciated!

[ Answer this question ]