20 Ways to Spice Up Your Sex Life
by Nancy Evans, Editor-in-Chief, iVillage

One thing is happily clear: Women are not about to take the waning of sex lying down! They’re inventing all kinds of ways to keep the good times (and good feelings) rolling. Just take a look at the 20 great ideas below. It must be that we’ve gotten tired of being “tired.” We want — oh yes — a little fun. Enjoy.

1. Pretend you just met him
“When our sex life started to slow down, I started thinking about how another woman would see my husband if she just met him — and this made me want to impress him. I did things like buying new lingerie, getting up just a little earlier than usual to join him in the shower or making time to play later in the tub. We totally rediscovered each other’s sexiness after that.”

2. Tease each other
“Sometimes, when my husband and I wake up and hear the kids, we start kissing and caressing anyway. Of course we don’t continue, but we get all worked up and then go all day stealing little looks and kisses. Sure, we could duck away and end the torture, but I think that secretly, we both enjoy this little dance. It definitely keeps things exciting!”

3. Act on your moods
“My problem was that even if I was in the mood when my husband was at work, by the time he got home I’d be too exhausted. It started to get so frustrating! Then, I figured out a plan. Every time I get in the mood during the middle of the day, I put a blindfold or something suggestive under his pillow. Even though I may be too tired to initiate sex later, he finds my little clue and definitely gets the message.”

4. Get high-tech
“I’ve started emailing my husband sexy fantasy scenarios on his personal email account. This really helps me to get brave. Because sometimes, I just feel silly showing him my sexual side when we’re face-to- face. Plus, getting his mind going like that has certainly has paid off.”

5. Rent an “adult” video
“There are so many helpful sex videos available that are not intimidating at all. The one I like is narrated by a sex therapist; it’s instructional in nature. You learn how to effectively stimulate someone, but on a really nonthreatening level.”

6. Take real life and shove it
“My husband and I were always too busy for love. Finally, one night we were getting serious about fooling around and what happened? The phone rang! Even though he picked it up, I decided to take matters into my own hands, and kept right on kissing him, all over. I loved that power, and he went wild too — when he finally got off the phone.”

7. Be at each other’s mercy
“Once I whispered in my significant other’s ear to take hold of my hand. Then I told him I was going to close my eyes and he had to place my hand anywhere on his body. Then I massaged whatever area it was. He was kind of in control, but ultimately I controlled the pleasure.”

8. Surprise him — and yourself!
“I flashed my husband when he got home from work last night. Enough said, right?”

9. Heat up the outdoors
“We like to pack a picnic and head to our favorite secluded spot. Sometimes we even get to go skinny dipping there. When you try it don’t forget a blanket or sleeping bag, pillows and bug spray because you’re sure in for a long night! Of course, city dwellers can picnic too. Just create a hideaway spot on your bedroom floor!”

10. Be aggressive
“Telling my husband what to do in bed is very erotic. Although I wouldn’t want a puppy dog for a husband all the time, it is so much fun to say what I want, when and how. Then there is seeing his response! He might get even more turned on than me.”

11. Share (racy) compliments
“Once my husband and I were going to fool around in front of a mirror. He stood behind me and slowly undressed me. But as he moved along he told me how beautiful each part of my body is. Let me tell you, I didn’t mind a bit. Compliments are a wonderful way to heat up any situation. The next time we made love I gave him a few of my own!”

12. Do a little dance
“I know that lots of women feel comfortable doing a striptease, but I’m way too shy to try it. I have my own version of one. I just dance for my fiancé, making him want to touch me, but never let him. After I’ve taken off just a few items of clothing, I let him do the rest! It’s all at my speed, and he loves it! In the end, we’re both very happy.”

13. Go to a “toy store” together.
“My husband and I had planned a real date, just the two of us. We dressed up and hit the town. After dinner, I was sure the night was finished, but he had a detour planned. We pulled right into a sex store! I think if he gave me time to think about it, I’d have chickened out. But instead, we walked through the whole store — and it was very exciting! I think that I even managed to control the blushing until we left.”

14. Slip into something more comfortable
“One night, after my boyfriend and I went out dancing, he offered to get take-out and bring it back to my place. While he was gone, I decided to make the room — and myself — more ‘comfortable.’ This meant lighting candles, putting on a long satin nightgown, and spraying room freshener. I didn’t plan on taking it further, but when he walked in with the food, I saw his eyes jump. So I decided to walk over to him seductively. I pressed my body up to his, and whispered into his ear, ‘I have wanted you so badly all night.’ That’s when his mouth hit the floor, along with the food!”

15. Spend intimate time together
“Read a chapter of a book together every night. You can eat grapes, drink wine, even incorporate adult toys or choose to read erotic literature to each other. But for my husband and me, this is all about making an effort to touch, cuddle and spend intimate time together. That leads to an exciting evening no matter what!”

16. Appeal to all his senses
“I have been known to put cinnamon on a cookie sheet, turn the oven on and leave the door open a bit. This fills the house with the smell of chocolate chip cookies and puts my husband in a really good mood. 350 degrees usually does the trick!”

17. Get — and give — sneak previews
“What I like best is when my boyfriend and I describe what we’re about to do to each other before doing it. As he talks, I can practically feel what will happen to my body. Talk about a double whammy. When he finally does it, I go through the roof! “

18. Make a bedroom rule “There is one standing ‘rule’ in our bedroom. We are not allowed to use the same position more than once in a week. Of course we break the rule, but not often, and it generally keeps us from getting into a boring sexual routine.”

19. Make a game of it
“I challenge my boyfriend to a game of basketball when things get dull. Whoever wins gets whatever he or she wants. Plus, you could make it a full body contact sport.”

20. End boredom with a routine
“We always celebrate the new year with sex! We’ve tried to time our orgasms so they both strike right at midnight, but haven’t been able to yet. The good news is that we just get to keep trying next year!”
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Better sex helps to build and maintain happy relationships.

Sex is sometimes an obsessive desire, sometimes a forceful need, but always the only common pleasure… Having sex is the nature’s basic command and the most important activity of the humanity, but also a natural and romantic way of expressing feelings between two people.

A great sex performance needs passion, intimacy, commitment… if your lover doesn’t care about your sexual satisfaction, it’s almost impossible to have a happy and lasting relationship. A relationship without good and devoted sex, will always fail!

Amy’s full guide to better sex and happy relationships
Maximize pleasures, satisfactions and happiness!

Amy’s Tutorial is a full guide to better sex and happy relationships. You can instantly access to best tips, tricks, advanced techniques, useful positions, pro methods and vital advice on how to improve your sexual skills, increase passion, maximize pleasures, satisfactions and happiness. You will feel yourself sexy and confident like an expert, like a sex goddess!

Venus at her Mirror – Diego Velázquez 1599-1660

Amy Guven is founder partner (photo) of Vitalinfocenter.com since 2000 and the author of the famous Amy’s Tutorial – Reshape Your Womanhood! Including all vital sex tips, tricks, advanced techniques and pro methods of how to make better sex, and being highly successful as a reference book, Amy’s Better Sex and Relationships Tutorial aims to help people have better sex and happy relationships.

God created sex. Priests created marriage – Voltaire
Now you will find out how to make better sex and create happy relationships!
Don’t listen to Woody Allen, or maybe only before a threesome fantasy: Sex between a man and a woman can be absolutely wonderful, provided you get between the right man and woman!

Besides many practical, useful and exciting lovemaking tricks, there are lots of clever tips, advanced techniques, special – purposeful positions, and pro methods that you will instantly learn by reading Amy’s Better Sex and Relationships Tutorial. Here are a few of them:

» Effective methods of refreshing your tired partner;
» How to make him very satisfied quickly when you are too tired;
» How to turn that old, routine, mostly boring foreplay activities into exciting games;
» How to achieve firmer erections and avoid premature ejaculations;
» How to improve semen – sperm taste for gourmets;
» How to make her secretions tasty too;
» How your throat will blow his mind in a pro blowjob method;
» More reason to use mirrors in your bedroom;
» Which g-spot stimulated by your lubricated finger will make him achieve orgasm quickly;
» Simple tricks to make her achieve intense orgasms in every session;
» Before he is ejaculating, where and how to touch to make him shoot off as fireworks;
» How to train your vaginal muscles to cheer up your partner’s sex life;
» How to use your hand and fingers while he is inside you to excite him more;
» How to use toys, lubricants and different sex positions to produce maximum pleasures;
» How to use pro anal sex techniques to maximize pleasure and satisfactions of both sides;
» Methods of convincing your partner for your first swinging experience;
» Ideal position for deepest penetration (may improve your chance of getting pregnant);
» Special positions for clitoral and/or g-spot stimulation to achieve great orgasms faster;
» Amy’s vital advice on how to build and maintain happy relationships (follow carefully!);

And many more tips, information and advice on performing better sex that will take your relationship to another level! Order Amy’s Tutorial, Reshape Your Womanhood, Improve Your Relationships!

From Chapters…

The bold + of Oral Sex: Deepthroat tips, techniques, pro methods…
Expertise in oral sex is the most desired skill to produce great pleasures and only few people really able to master this complex technique accurately, furthermore only rare experts can perform deepthroat effectively! Without doubt the ability of deepthroating is the biggest plus of oral sex – fellatio performance, a high technique to prove, to certify the perfection of your sexual skills.

But it’s very difficult to produce great oral sex – deepthroat pleasures, it needs accurate knowledge, practice and experience! Amy’s vital oral sex tips, efficient deepthroating techniques, and pro methods of training will take you to master’s level!

How to improve Semen – Sperm taste for Gourmets!
Semen – sperm is protein rich, low carb, nutritious… well, how to make it delicious? It’s almost 95% predigested protein which is the best and the most easily absorbed protein available in the nature, and contains very low calorie and carbohydrate (about 15 calories per ejaculate).

So knowing how semen – sperm is naturally healthy and nutritious, men might expect their partners to be lining up for the daily dose of this creamy, protein rich liquor vitae! Unfortunately, this is not the case for many people, and according to surveys, the main reason of dislike is the foul, bitter, salty, acidic… taste of the semen – sperm!

Almost the same is valid for vaginal secretions and women have to be careful about the salty and acidic taste! Amy’s Tutorial includes vital tips and practical advice on how to improve semen – sperm and vaginal secretions taste! Why don’t you order now?

Anal Sex – The irresistible call of tightness!
When performed with knowledge and accuracy, anal sex is a great pleasure, a tasty spice added to sexual activities. Pleasures of anal sex can be derived from many different ways but the right departure platform is: knowledge + lubricants + patience!

Ways of producing anal sex pleasures are explained in detail in Amy’s Tutorial, order now and find out advanced techniques, special positions, pro methods and advice to maximize anal sex pleasures for both sides!

Great Orgasm Starters – Women and Men’s G-spots
If properly located and efficiently stimulated, women and men’s g-spots (Grafenberg Spots) are starters of great orgasms. Men are more lucky than women with 3 g-spots on easy locations, evidently men’s orgasm and ejaculation ability is the nature’s first priority!

For women having difficulty in achieving orgasm, g-spot stimulation may be a highly effective solution. Proper massage and combined stimulation of g-spots and sensitive genital area will generously help to create excellent pleasures and great orgasms. Learn pro methods of how to locate and stimulate women and men’s g-spots and realize orgasmic explosions!

Amy’s Better Sex and Relationships Tutorial | List of Chapters
Cleanliness | Training pelvic muscles | Dressing for sex | Acting like another woman Playing with sex toys | Lubricants for pleasure | Manhood – What is a man? | Men’s g-spots | Erotic massage & Masturbation techniques | Hand & Foot job tips | Perfect Fellatio · Oral love | Deep Throat – the bold + of Oral Sex | Semen · sperm taste for Gourmets | Irresistible call of tightness: Full Anal Sex pleasures | How to add spice and sizzle into standard intercourse positions | Two + one: Threesome fantasy 4 techniques and positions for women’s orgasm | Amy’s vital advice to secure long-lasting relationships.

Few Testimonials
Hi Amy, before your advice, I had trouble to keep my husband at home. Now his first priority is to come home right after the work, at once. We both are very happy, and it’s fully grace of you. Thank you, yours,
Anne (From Montreal)

Amazing tutorial! I had no idea there was so much tricks! I like to impress the guy I’m with, and I learned very much. Amy is really serious about giving a guy great pleasure.
I even learned how to train my throat for deep throating. Thanks a lot!
Tina (from Chicago)

Your tutorial is great. It’s not like many others “think you are sexy and you will, blah, blah!” I was looking for strict techniques of physical sexual contact to pleasure a man. And I found that!
Renata (from Rome, Italy)

Dear Amy, We have been married a little more than 60 years, and have practiced cunnilingus for nearly all that time, and I have been true to my wife since marriage. Long before I met her I had been initiated into cunnilingus by a former chorus girl in Ziegfield Follies, so we began cunnilingus quite early in our marriage. But I did not want to force her to perform fellatio, but waited, and one day when the children were at school she suddenly opened my fly, pulled out my penis, and performed her first fellatio. The ejaculation took her by surprise, and she swallowed most of the semen. Since then we have practiced both C & F, and the fellatio has slowly been getting more elaborate, but nothing to compare with the fine instructions and methods in your tutorial. We are looking forward to trying everything you recommend. With highest regards,
Talbot (From Miami)

Read all testimonials

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Order Amy’s Better Sex and Relationships Tutorial today, and besides the great guide itself, receive the following vital files, a lifelong membership, and lifelong access to Members Palace.

4 practical techniques for women orgasms
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Amy’s Members Palace is full of special files and articles as: Test your lover’s color preference; Benefits of nutritious nuts; Home made lotions Grandma recipes; Women’s lubrication difficulties.. and many more (new files are added frequently)

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Find Out How To Fix Your Marriage
By Chad Briggs

Is your marriage falling apart? Are you starting to fall out of love with your partner? There are some things we need to just stop hiding from and face in relationships. Everyone has their dreams of marriage. Most dream of the nice house with a white picket fence. Sometimes that dream turns into a nightmare. Marriages fall apart for so many different reasons.

Their is a difference between staying together and making it work. Staying together usually is done just for the kids. A lot of times it is worse on the kids and you. For example I know a couple that was doing that. They stayed together for the kids. They slept in different rooms and it made both of them miserable. When they did talk they would fight. Tell me when you were a kid would you rather see your parents separated and happy or together and miserable? Making it work is different. That is when a couple realize there is a problem and love each other enough to work through it. Sometimes that works. Sometimes it doesn’t. The main reason it doesn’t is because people use the wrong methods. If your partner needs some time alone let them have it. Pick up a hobby. Just remember there is always hope.

Some of the reasons marriages fall apart are because of unresolved conflicts, affairs, sexual problems or lack of, constant fighting, communication problems, not enough time together, controlling partner, children, trial separations, and financial problems. Unresolved conflicts just lead to more problems and fighting. Learn to work through your problems by compromise. Affairs can be a finisher to any relationship. There are plenty of couples that work through them. One way is finding out why the affair happened and fixing the problem. Sometimes there is now way to fix it but most of the time there is. Sexual problems can lead to a lot larger problems. They are usually what leads to affairs. A lot of time it is lack of intimacy. If you and your partner are not being intimate there is bound to be sexual boredom.

Thats when people start looking around to see what else there is. Most of the time lack of intimacy is because of busy schedules. When you have full-time jobs and kids time can be hard to come by. Nobody likes fighting with their significant other. The reason you are so picky when finding someone you want to settle down with is because you don’t want to have fights. A lot of times you can work through them. Find out what is causing these problems and try to figure out how to work through it. Nobody likes not having open communication with their partner. The key to fixing that problem is finding out how your partner communicates and communicating with them on that level. When you and your partner are not spending a lot of time together it gets frustrating. When you both work different shifts and have kids it can be draining.

One of the ways to work through is to try and find a job that has a similar schedule to your significant other. If you can not do that try and work out a schedule together that will allow you to manage your time better. That way you can get some more time together. Controlling partners are the worse type. Nobody likes being told. Controlling partners are the hardest to work through. They require a lot of time and effort. You need to first make your partner aware of their behavior. Financial problems can make life very stressful. Money is not everything but you need it to survive. With the price of gas and everything else going up it is beginning to get harder for the lower and middle class to make a living. The highest percent of divorces are from the lower and middle class.

Many people try to save their marriages but are unsuccessful. The 2 biggest mistakes are begging for another chance and trying to hard. Don’t show your partner desperation that will only push them further away.

I know first hand. I was in a very serious relationship when I was younger. Until this day she was the only girl I can honestly say I loved. I lost her because I was stubborn and wouldn’t make compromises to work through problems. I would just do what I want. She told me she did not want any more dogs so I just bought 2 Rottweilers and brought them home. At the end I tried to save the relationship by begging for another chance. It has been almost 3 years now. Now that I finally found the right techniques to getting her back I can’t. We did not talk since a month after we broke up. She has since moved out of state with her sister and I have no way to get in touch with either one of them.

Do not make the same mistake I made. Click to my blog to find out more scenarios of how relationships failed with the stories of real couples. Click on the bottom of my blog to find out from a real expert how to fix your marriage.

Written by Chad

I work at home.

Fix My Marriage – 3 Super Steps to Keeping Your Marriage Fresh and Exciting.
Is your marriage experiencing tough challenges these days? Are you worried and anxious about what “could” happen to you and your marriage if you don’t do something to resolving it. Do you find yourself asking the question over and over again… “How Can I fix My Broken Marriage?”

Well thankfully in this article, we are going to try to resolve just that. If you are asking the question, “How can I fix my marriage?”, within this article we shall try to start you off in the right direction by focusing on certain areas in your relationship, like the romance between you and your partner.

The type of situation that you are trying to avoid, is to have your marriage become just another part of your daily routine. If you do feel that your relationship has reached this stage…(which is a common thing to happen by the way), then perhaps its time that you start looking to bring in the romantic excitement back into your relationship! How can this be achieve? Take a look at some of the steps below –

Keep Communication Flowing!

Perhaps one of the most important things to remember throughout your relationship is to be make sure that you keep the communication alive in your married life! Communication is essential to a healthy relationship! So whether you feel like telling your spouse how much they mean to you… or talking about what you are going to eat for tonight’s dinner, its important to let your partner know what’s on your mind. If there is a lack in communication, then this will only create unworthiness and a feeling of loneliness between you both.

Your Actions Always Speak Louder Than Words!

This statement has been true since the day it was born. Your actions do speak louder than words and they convey a more defined sense of communication than words! You see touching is a great form of intimacy that acts as a non-verbal form of communication. Holding hands, walking in the park with your arms around each other, or sitting on the couch with one another “talks” a lot without actually saying anything to each other.

Surprising One Another = Relationship Longevity!

Remember when you first started going out together? Part of the excitement in the beginning of the relationship was getting to know one another. As you kept seeing each other, you never knew what to expect from each other. There was always that element of surprise, excitement and curiosity! So just because a married couple has been together for sometime and they feel that they know one another better from spending a lot of time together, does not mean that they can not continue to surprise one another on a regular basis to keep the excitement & surprise alive. Its your duty to find new ways of surprising your partner on a consistent basis… So whether its a surprise romantic dinner for two, or an exciting picnic & walk in the park, you’ll be keeping your relationship fresh and exciting for you both!
Fix My Marriage
This is an article on how to fix your marriage

My Marriage Fixed
Read My Shocking Story and Why, After 12 years Of Marriage, Everything Seemed to be Falling Apart..
And How, After A Final, Desperate, Search Online I Finally Found a simple way to Fix Our Marriage and Make it Stronger Than Ever Before…

If you Landed on my little Blog to find a way to fix the problems in your marriage, to find tips or maybe even counseling to make your marriage work again, I am really happy you did. You see, I am sure I can help you, and by showing you what I did, I can point you in the right direction and probably save you a lot of money on marriage counceling fees, and still help you get a better result.

My name is Lisa Schneider, and Just a few months back, I and my husband were very close to become one more divorce statistic.. We have been married for 12 years, but George(my husband) had started to seem more distant…

Maybe you can relate.. he stayed at work much longer.. it almost seemed like he didn’t want to come home at all.
I had the feeling he was the first to volunteer for business trips, Just to avoid me…I asked him what was going on, but could not get him to open up to me.

I Even asked if there was someone else, but he denied it…I wasn’t sure I could believe in him anymore…

It was unbelievable..Everything was so great in the beggining..

We fell in love and married after Only 6 months.

We where both a little older, but we were so in love, almost like teenagers

I Remember I used to read about people getting divorced, and thanked God I would never have to go through that!

But Things change…Nothing stays the same.

I still Remember the evening that saved my marriage.

I was home, alone (it was almost like this every night by then) and I was sick and tired of watching TV by my self, so I decided to check a couple of online forums a friend of mine had suggested to see what other women had done to fix their marriages, maybe pick up a couple of tips and maybe find a marriage counseling site, or a marriage counselor in our area..(If I would be able to drag George there, but that is another story..)

Anyway, after a couple of posts , I read one particular that really caught my eye..

There was this lady ( I cant remember her name, but god bless her) that had found a site that helped here Rescue her marriage.She said that the information she got saved her, even though it had taken her a little time.

I really wanted to know what she was talking about so I clicked through the link

This is how I stumbled upon Amy’s Website..

Her Way of explaining everything and make it easy to understand made me feel at ease right away.

after Reading about her system for a while, Browsing through what other people that had used her methods had to say
I decided to order her program . After all, This solution seemed easier than a counseling session, and not to mention a lot cheaper, and Amy Is so sure that she can help you, that she offer an unconditional 100% money back guarantee.

The system is Downloadable, so I did not have to wait for anything to arrive in the mail, but I got started Right away…

everything she said maid so much sense.

I read about many mistakes I had made, wich I thought would help me, but instead I was pushing George away, without me even knowing!

I decided to try some of the methods Amy Suggested and for the first time in months we had a sincere talk with George..

This was a huge step for me..for us!

I can’t say that I and george are where we were 11 years ago, but we have already booked a trip abroad together, so we are deffinately on the right track!

A marriage is a difficult thing to fix once it takes the wrong turn, but it is soooo worth it.

I am sure Amy can help you too, she even had a special offer last time I checked where You get a email consultation that applies to your specific situation..Divorce is such a bad thing, It should be avoided at all costs!

Click here and Read more about Amy’s Methods and see How she can do to help you too!

Good Luck

Lisa

How to Rebuild Your Marriage
By Devangini, eHow Member

Having a tough time with your spouse? Contemplating divorce? Well, there’s no need to call it quits as yet. This step by step article will help you fix your marriage – for keeps!

Step
1
List your problems – one by one. These can be situations, or actual issues that have cropped up between the two of you. This will help you gain some perspective. Keep this list aside and look it again after a few days. Would you like to change how you have worded some of the issues; are you less agitated and more open to change now?

During this step, you may feel as if too much water has flown under the bridge and that there is no point in any of this. If you are still wondering what else you could have done for a happier marriage, it shows you still care.

Step
2
Categorise your problems. Are they family related, money related, social, career or others? This will help you understand the source of the problems.

Step
3
Now list the very same problems from his or her point of view. What do you think drove your spouse to a corner? This step will show you what you may be missing.

Step
4
Write a solution to each problem keeping in mind both perspectives. This can be a time taking exercise. The purpose of this step is to allow you the space and time to indulge in some problem sharing. If there is scope, you can discuss this with your spouse too – it will help him or her see how much you really care.

Step
5
Still feel like the other party is ‘beyond caring’? Well, here’s the thing – maybe the hurt is deeper than you can see. Start focusing on yourself – how can I change, how can I be happier? Take the focus off of changing your spouse’s nature.

Once, your spouse sees the positive results of your actions, he or she will make an initiative too.

Step
6
Remember to keep the effort going from both ends. And throughout this process, it is important to appreciate each other’s efforts and positive side – rather than the flaws. What you think, you attract – focus on the positive, and the negative will vanish!

Have a wonderful marriage!

Rx For a Troubled Marriage
by Donna Jackson
New Woman, March, 1998

Imagine you’re on the phone catching up with a friend who says she can’t stay in her marriage another minute. She’s even called a few attorneys and a real estate agent – that’s how bleak things are. Surely she should go, you say, as you listen to the awful details of her unhappiness.

Months pass. You talk again. She’s decided to stay and try to work it out, she says. Oh, there are a hundred reasons: the kids; the financial realities of divorcing; the fact that on a good day she remembers she loved him once; and, mostly, she hopes it will be different between them – sometime soon.

You hang up the phone, sure of this: She’ll be just as miserable a year from now as she is today. She’s just making the best of a bad situation, poor thing.

What you expressly do not expect is the opposite scenario: to talk to her a year later and find that she and her husband have changed, worked things out, transformed their marriage into something far richer – they’ve found, truly, a new level of intimacy together. They are, shock of shocks, happy together after so much marital woe.

In this country, a couple divorces every 26 seconds. But what about the couples who teeter precariously near the brink of divorce and don’t split up? Of course, we all know that some couples who opt not to separate are miserable together forever. And some marriages cannot and should not be saved (see box, “Should You Fight for Your Marriage?”). But, says Michele Weiner-Davis, author of Divorce Busting and the audiotape program based on her couples workshop, Keeping Love Alive, “I’ve seen many couples in my practice who nearly divorced – often after feeling as if they’ve been locked in a living hell together for years – and yet they’re able to rebuild a marriage that is better than they could ever have imagined. They’re often happier than other couples who never went through such a terrible close call.” According to Weiner-Davis, this kind of reconciliation happens much more often than we as a society tend to think, and has much to teach us about the inner workings of a good marriage.

Although every women’s tale of marital hell differs, all couples who nearly split come to the same bleak spot in the end: miserable, depressed, feeling betrayed, in turmoil, scared, defeated, furious, and in such pain that they feel as if they’re being torn apart inside. What, then, enables some women to transform their marriages? What emotional tools do they use? Exactly what is a good enough reason upon which to base such a major life decision? To find out, we interviewed a number of women who nearly divorced – and didn’t. Most of them stayed for one or more of the following reasons:

They See Some Good in the Bad.
According to Weiner-Davis, many of these women have just a glimmer of hope that their marriages can improve. Take Kathy, a 37-year-old Hollywood producer’s assistant. “My husband and I were miserable together for years,” she says. He’d been unfaithful to her before they got married, and she couldn’t forgive him. “I was constantly jealous, and it made me bitter. Then, when we’d been married for a few years, he went to a bachelor party and let a prostitute sit on his lap and roam her hands all over him. I heard about it later, and I was merciless.”

Things quickly escalated to the point where, during an argument, Kathy slapped Jack and he shoved her. “We had a three-year-old daughter, and I didn’t want her to see us like this, so I told him to leave,” says Kathy.

But something happened during their separation that gave Kathy a shred of hope. She and Jack decided to write letters to each other to work out the details of their divorce. “These letters were so clearly from a very kind person, someone very hurt, very confused – someone who was good through and through,” she explains. Reading his letters, Kathy found herself hoping that things could be different between them. They eventually decided that Jack would move back in. “Even though it took a lot of sweat and tears, the really solid, good marriage we have now all started with that feeling of hope.”

Their Husbands Also Engage-to Some Degree-in the Process.
Unfair as it seems, experts say it is usually the woman who decides to fight for the marriage. But no amount of dedication on her part is enough unless her husband is at least somewhat committed to the process. According to John Gottman, director of the Seattle Marital and Family Institute, and author of Why Marriages Succeed or Fail…and How You Can Make Yours Last, “Often, a marriage succeeds or fails to the extent that a husband can accept influence from his wife.” If he listens and responds to you in a way that keeps communication moving forward, your efforts stand a good chance of paying off. As Kathy says, “Jack showed up for every therapy appointment, he wrote me dozens of letters. None of what happened for us could have happened if he hadn’t been actively involved in the process of trying to rebuild our marriage.”

They Take a Leap of Faith.
Many of these women say they came to a place where they made a decision to work towards a better marriage even as the relationship was at its very worst. This leap of faith precipitated a cascade of changes within the marriage.

For Kathy, the leap of faith came after she’d spent time researching articles about how the kids of divorce cope. “The information I found out was not good at all. I realized I didn’t want my child to be a child of divorce. I started wondering: Is there a way that you can live with a person you’re having so many conflicted feelings about and let the resentments go? Once I made the decision to give our marriage everything I had, things began to change. Both of us seemed to have a new commitment to working things out.” They agreed to see a therapist together, and eventually Kathy found someone who was “confrontational, but also kind. He flat out told us we were emotionally battering each other. He made rules: He told us we could not see each other except in his office because we were both too immature to talk things out on our own. He didn’t want to hear about who had done what to whom. He wanted us to learn to back down. He taught us that if you want a good marriage, you give in when you’re wrong – and when you’re right. For the first time, I learned that I could be myself and have my strong opinions and still back off, give in. I didn’t need to batter Jack emotionally until he agreed with me or pleaded for forgiveness.”

Sometimes a new discovery or vital piece of information motivates a woman to take a leap of faith. As Weiner-Davis says, “Any reason for staying together is a good reason,” assuming the couple wants to stay together. Whether it’s religious faith or fear of the financial realities of divorce, “allowing your fears to give you pause can be a very positive survival skill,” she adds.

They Issue an Ultimatum.
Peter Kramer, M.D., clinical professor of psychiatry at Brown University and author of Should You Leave? A Psychiatrist Explores Intimacy and Autonomy – The Nature of Advice, says that couples who stay together despite their grievances often learn to discern what the crucial issues are and how to stand up for them. Sometimes the ultimatum is nonverbal, for example, refusing to go to a company party or moving out of the bedroom.

Grace, a 54-year-old businesswomen married 39 years, tells how her marriage was saved by an ultimatum. “We were having trouble with one of our teenagers who was suddenly failing in school, and we went into family therapy. My husband had a drinking problem, and our family therapist said that if therapy was to work, he had to stop drinking. But he didn’t. I told him if he didn’t stop drinking and using alcohol as an emotional crutch to avoid the feelings that therapy was trying to help him realize, in three months I’d be gone.” Grace’s bold move worked.

They Learn to Accept Each Other’s Limitations.
As important as it is that you take a stand on issues that are unacceptable to you, it’s just as important to realize that in order to be happy with your partner, you don’t necessarily have to like every single thing about him. “There is an illusion that either you’ll be able to change all the things about your relationship that you don’t like, or else you’ll eventually feel good about the things you can’t change,” says Weiner-Davis. “But that’s not true. You won’t eventually feel better about your partner in every single way. You have to accept that – that’s part of marriage.”

According to Gottman, such acceptance is critical, given that most couples never resolve most of their key problems. And if they leave, they’d most likely find different but equally upsetting and unfixable problems with the next person. Which means, he suggests, couples need to learn to accept each other’s limitations. According to Neil Jacobson, Ph.D., a psychologist at the University of Washington, research bears this out. A recent study about a new type of therapy called “integrative couple therapy” – which seeks to help partners accept each other’s flaws and idiosyncrasies – boasts an 89 percent success rate at helping couples in trouble significantly improve their marriage. Advocates of integrative couple therapy say that dissimilarities between partners can be vehicles for intimacy – opportunities for couples to get closer once they feel fully accepted by each other.

They Find the Right Kind of Help.
For many women, an investment of time and money into a marriage education workshop brings on the necessary changes in their marriage. Georgia says she and her husband, Phil, were at the point where they only spoke when an issue came up that had to be addressed – with the house, or with one of their children. “If friends wanted to invite us to diner, they knew they had to call each of us separately because we just didn’t talk.” They had already been to three different marital therapists. There was clearly nothing left to do but divorce.

But then, as they began to call family members to tell them their sad news, one of Georgia’s sisters told her about a marriage workshop that had turned around several marriages she knew of. She pleaded with Georgia and Phil to go. So Georgia and Phil attended a three-day course called Retrouvaille(for more information, see box, “Should You Fight for Your Marriage?”). At the end, says Georgia, “We liked the course so much we signed up for another marriage education course a few weeks later – and by the end of that one, we had decided we should stay together. We felt love for each other again. Suddenly we understood that neither of us was wrong or bad – we were just very different people and that was okay. It helped us both to stop judging and to accept the other person’s uniqueness.”

They Focus on Changing Themselves, Not Each Other.
There are some things we want in a relationship that we will never get from our partner. The solution, says Kramer, is “to find them – or develop them – in yourself.” Sometimes our concerns about our partner’s inadequacies might actually mask concerns about our own inadequacies. For instance, Kramer describes one couple where the women had initially been attracted to her husband because of his stability, his “salt of the earth” quality. However, after several years of marriage, she complained that he was staid, stodgy, boring, not willing enough to take risks, “not dynamic.” But in truth, says Kramer, this particular woman was not very dynamic herself. When she realized this, she was able to accept him as he was. She let her anger at him go and began to work on her own feelings of social inadequacy.

Regardless of the path the women took to retrieve their marriages from the brink of divorce, they all shared one thing in common: They were overwhelmingly grateful that they had stayed. Perhaps Kathy expresses it best: “I’m finally in the place I’ve always dreamt of being: We used to be the bickering couple that might not show up at a party because we would be at home having a blowup. And now we’re the opposite of that. I’m so glad I stayed; I’m glad for me, for Jack, for our daughter.”

Should You Fight For Your Marriage

It’s very hard to figure out whether to stay in your marriage or leave, though some cases seem more clear-cut than others – for example, those involving physical abuse or chronic drug abuse. Behavior that would be intolerable for one person might be a minor inconvenience for another, and many negative behaviors such as chronic criticism and blaming can be reversed. So how do you know if your marriage can be saved? According to Diane Sollee, director of the Coalition for Marriage, Family, and Couples Education(C.M.F.C.E.) in Washington, D.C., a clearinghouse for information on marital education programs, you can’t know much until you’re sure you have done everything you can to save your marriage. Says Sollee: Most marriages don’t break up over big issues, but rather due to “irreconcilable disappointments. People fall in love, and then, over time, all these little disappointments in each other break their hearts and the marriage breaks apart.” In other words, two people simply become worn down by layers of resentment, and they are unaware of the tools that are available to help them. Eventually, divorce seems like an attractive solution. But according to Sollee, few suffering couples know about the wide range of excellent and highly successful educational marriage programs now available to equip them with a more realistic view of what to expect in marriage, and provide them with more efficient ways to handle inevitable conflicts and communication problems. Sollee’s advice for couples in trouble is to start with one of the extremely helpful couples weekend programs around the country

Happiness in Marriage

In order to be happy in a relationship, we have to experience happiness as an individual first. Depending on another person for happiness seldom works. Being depended upon entirely for someone else’s happiness is quite a burden for anybody to carry.

So in the event that our partner makes us unhappy, we have to determine whether it is worth losing sleep over. Ask yourself:

- Is it a matter of life and death?

- Does my ego have to prove that I am right?

- Even if I emerge the “winner” in the dispute, what are the long term consequences of having a fight? Will I “win” in the long run ? Is it worth it?

- Can I laugh it over?

– What would happen if I practiced humility and compassion instead? What would it do for me? What would it do for my partner?What would it do for our relationship?

- What would happen if I said sorry, even if I technically was not in the wrong? What would it do for me? What would it do for my partner? What would it do for our relationship?

The questions above help you determine whether it is worth losing your happiness over something trivial.

Strategies for Happiness

Simple Laughter Strategy

Have you ever wondered how some people seem to find humor in almost everything. Here’s a simple strategy

1. Imagine that you are your favorite comedy character (I’ll use Homer Simpson, of TV show The Simpsons here). Totally immerse yourself in the experience of being them.

2. Given a situation, what would Homer see, hear, feel and then say? Go on be silly about it.

That is it!

Here are a few of my favorite lines from the show…

Homer: Why do you think your mother and I sleep on the same bed?

Bart: Because we are poor?

Homer: Exactly…and we are poor because we have children.

Tarzan and Jane Playmates

Use the Simple Laughter Strategy to laugh yourself silly and be playful with your partner. People grow fond of people that they spend laughter-filled good times with. You become an anchor for fun, joyful feelings for your partner.

Try putting this one above every mirror in your house: “This person is not to be taken seriously!”

Instant Endorphine Release

1. Remember a time when you felt totally happy and at peace. Return fully to that time now, seeing what you saw, hearing what you heard and feeling how good you felt.

(If you can’t remember a specific time, just imagine how much better your life would be if you were totally happy and peaceful right now – if you had all the peace, love and contentment you could ever want.)

2. Now make the colors brighter and richer, the sounds louder, and allow your feelings of happiness to intensify.

3. Notice where that feeling of happiness is strongest in your body Give this feeling of happiness a color, and move that color up to the top of your head and down
to the tip of your toes. Double the brightness. Double it again!

4. You can visualize the endorphins like little dolphins at play in your bloodstream, happily swimming from cell to cell. Or feel the flow of endorphins like a river of golden honey throughout your body.

5. Repeat steps 2-4 at least five more times. Vividly imagine in detail that event where you are happy, again and again You can use the same happy experience or add in new ones each time.

- More from Change your Life in 7 Days

Being in Present Time

The following is an NLP process.

1. Close your eyes.

2. Ask you unconscious mind, where your past memories are stored.

3. Ask your unconscious mind, where events that are meant to occur in the future are stored.

4. Connect both positions into a line, which then becomes your time line.

5. Let your unconscious mind transport all events that are meant for the PAST away from the NOW to the PAST.

6. Let your unconscious mind transport all events that are meant for the FUTURE away from the NOW to the FUTURE.

7. Enjoy the freedom that comes with being in the NOW.

8. Open your eyes and come to the room.

Being Grateful for What You Already Have

Complete the following sentences. It is best to write/type them out.

What I like about myself …

What I have going pretty well in my life …

What I like about my partner …

I am grateful to Spirit/God from the bottom of my heart for all the above-mentioned blessings. I am so blessed and lucky! Thank you very much!

Smiling Practice

The mind and body are connected. your state of mind affects your body posture and vice versa. So practice smiling – nothing flashy, just a gentle slight smile. Before you go to bed, do it with a smile. Doing this as a habit actually shapes the muscles of your face so that you look like you are smiling naturally!

Singing

Singing is another activity that changes your state. Go on an whistle a tune or sing your favorite song.

Reframe a Negative Experience with Humor

Click here to find out how to reframe negative experiences.

For the not-so good times, reframe the experience by saying:

“I refuse to be intimidated by reality”

“It could be worse. I could be pregnant”

“What an opportunity for learning and growth”

“Beam me up, Scotty”

Humor Visualization

1. Relax and close your eyes and take a deep breath.
2. Focus on your breath. Imagine it entering a tube that is connected to a large, inflatable clown. With each exhalation your clown gets bigger and bigger. Now, take a closer look at your clown. Notice how large it is. Notice its colors… the makeup. What gender is it? Is it wearing a hat? Does your clown have a name? What is your clown’s most interesting feature? Take time to get a clear picture of your clown.
3. Now focus on your breath again. With each breath you take, your clown keeps getting bigger and bigger and bigger. In fact, your clown has become as big as a weather balloon, maybe even bigger.
4. Your clown is always with you to help you lighten up your problems. Remember: Nothing, no problem, is too big for this gigantic clown.

5. In a moment, your clown is going to give you some advice on how to lighten up a problem or difficulty you are having. Do not judge your clown’s answer. It may not be what you thought your clown would say, but just accept the answer. Just listen.

Ask your clown how you can see some humor in what appears to be a humorless situation. Listen for the answer now.

6. When you have an answer, thank the clown for listening to your problem and showing you how to lighten it up.

Thank yourself for participating in this process and know that whenever you need a lighthearted solution, whenever you are feeling stressed, whenever you feel lost for an answer, just ask your clown. It is as close to you as your breath. All you need to do to contact your clown is to breathe into it.

7. Now, when you are ready, say good-bye to your clown and bring your focus to your breath again. Let it settle to a quiet, even pace.

Laughter Affirmation

I shall get one more bit of laughter in my life today.

I am thankful for the joyous things in my life. Ha. Ha. Ha.

Credit:

- The Healing Power of Humor, Allen Klein

Always Look on the Bright Side of Life (from Monty Python)

words and music by Eric Idle

Some things in life are bad
They can really make you mad
Other things just make you swear and curse.
When you’re chewing on life’s gristle
Don’t grumble, give a whistle
And this’ll help things turn out for the best…

And…always look on the bright side of life…
Always look on the light side of life…

If life seems jolly rotten
There’s something you’ve forgotten
And that’s to laugh and smile and dance and sing.
When you’re feeling in the dumps
Don’t be silly chumps
Just purse your lips and whistle – that’s the thing.

And…always look on the bright side of life…
Always look on the light side of life…

For life is quite absurd
And death’s the final word
You must always face the curtain with a bow.
Forget about your sin – give the audience a grin
Enjoy it – it’s your last chance anyhow.

So always look on the bright side of death
Just before you draw your terminal breath

Life’s a piece of shit
When you look at it
Life’s a laugh and death’s a joke, it’s true.
You’ll see it’s all a show
Keep ‘em laughing as you go
Just remember that the last laugh is on you.

And always look on the bright side of life…
Always look on the right side of life…
(Come on guys, cheer up!)
Always look on the bright side of life…
Always look on the bright side of life…
(Worse things happen at sea, you know.)
Always look on the bright side of life…
(I mean – what have you got to lose?)
(You know, you come from nothing – you’re going back to nothing.
What have you lost? Nothing!)
Always look on the right side of life…

How to Stop Fighting: Tips for Married Couples
Experts share suggestions for defusing marital disputes.
By Diane Lore
WebMD Feature Reviewed by Louise Chang, MD
Becky Robbins says she and her husband, Neil — married for eight years — rarely fight.

That doesn’t mean that there isn’t conflict for the Berrien Springs, Mich., couple. It’s just that she screams “kind of like the queen in Alice in Wonderland,” uttering phrases reminiscent of “off with their heads.” And her husband responds like most guys in marriage fighting. He hides in “the bedroom playing video games.”

This isn’t what we envisioned as we clutched hands as newlyweds and sneered at those older couples who ate in silence at the Waffle House. But the reality is, you’re probably going to have marital disputes. And each of us have our own style of fighting, stepping into the ring ready for a knock-out over the toothpaste in the sink, wrinkled laundry in the dryer or appropriate television for the toddler.

“Everyone in a relationship argues,” says Debbie Mandel, author of Addicted to Stress. “However, how loudly you scream or how frequently you fight does not predict the outcome of your marriage.”

What qualifies as fighting fair in marriage essentially comes down to how each partner feels when they leave the ring. If both are hearty “boxers,” who love a few rounds in the ring and then are ready for some make-up sex, the marriage is probably fine.

But if people leave the ring angry, bitter, and resentful, perhaps it’s time to re-evaluate, either together or with the help of a therapist or psychologist.

And what if a careful, logical analysis of your fights still doesn’t stop your anger about dishes left in the family room? What’s some real-life advice for couples who might experience more marriage disagreements during these trying economic times?

Suggestions for Keeping the Peace
Experts of wedded bliss — some with the pedigree of education, and others with the scars of experience — have these suggestions:

Go to bed angry. Several therapists and couples said forget that adage about always resolving anger before turning in — and let someone sleep on the couch. “We’ve found that going to bed angry is often the best choice,” said Lisa Earle McLeod, an author and 23-year marriage veteran. “It allows partners to clear their thoughts, get some sleep, and make a date to resume the fight (which might seem less important in the light of day).
Take a break. Even a 30-second break can help a couple push the reset button on a fight, says Timothy Warneka, a licensed clinical counselor. “Stop, step out of the room, and reconnect when everyone’s a little calmer.”
Own up to your part of the fight. Melody Brooke, a licensed marriage and family therapist, says two things derail intense fights: admitting what you did to get your partner ticked off, and expressing empathy toward your partner. Brooke, author of The Blame Game, says this can be difficult but typically is extremely successful. “Letting down our defenses in the heat of battle, seems counterintuitive, but is actually very effective with couples.”
Find the humor. Pamela Bodley and her husband, of Yonkers, N.Y., have also been married 23 years, “and Lord knows it [wasn't] easy in the early years … but it’s much, much better now. We have a great sense of humor.” Her husband, Paul, has kept the mood light by always saying he knows women keep skillets in their purse. So when he does something wrong, Bodley says, “I just pretend to hit him over the head with a skillet and say, ‘TING!’”
Shut up and touch. Brooke says there’s a point where discussing the matter doesn’t help. So couples need to just hold each other when nothing else seems to be working. “Reconnecting through touch is very important.”
Ban the “but.” Couples often derail a resolution when they try to acknowledge the other partner’s position, but then add a “but” in their next breath and reaffirm their position, says Jane Straus, author of Enough is Enough! Stop Enduring and Start Living Your Extraordinary Life. An example: I can understand why you didn’t pick up the dishes in the family room, but why do you think I’m the maid?
Remember what’s important. “We soon realized that we don’t have two beings in a marriage, we actually have three: me, my husband, and the marriage. And we have to take good care of all three of us,” says Jacqueline Freeman of Battle Ground, Wash.”So if we’ve been arguing about whose fault it is that the house is so messy, I might defend myself saying I was busy working a project that will bring in more income, and he might say he was busy fixing something on the house that was broken. … We used to be able to carry a conversation like this for quite some time, but over the years, we seem to have developed a 15-minute timer for arguing … when one of us will suddenly remember the key question: What’s best for the marriage?”

A Few Simple Truths About ADHD and Stimulant Drugs
Responses to Common Professional Statements Made to Parents About Their Children

Doctors, mental health professionals, and educators often say things about “Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder” (ADHD) that are unproven. These same professionals often say things about drugs that are supposed to treat “ADHD” that are not true. This brochure reveals and responds to six common lies or misleading statements you might be told.

1. “ADHD” is a brain-based biological disorder, caused by a chemical imbalance in your child’s brain. The simple fact is that there is absolutely no reliable test that accurately distinguishes between children that are supposed to have “ADHD” and those that are not. The simplest way to counter this statement is to ask for a medical test to prove that your child has “ADHD.” Many physicians will respond to your request by saying that the test is too expensive. You must persevere and ask that your insurance company pay for those tests. You can also ask any professional to show you the article or articles in the scientific literature that proves the existence of a confirmatory physical or chemical abnormality that validates the existence of ADHD as a medical disease. The plain truth is that no such article exists. If someone gives you an article, please share and discuss it with someone who can critically analyze it.

2. The symptoms are clearly printed in a book called the DSM-IV which stands for the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of the American Psychiatric Association, Fourth Edition. Yes, the “symptoms” are printed there, but as described in point 1, these alleged “symptoms” in no way prove that ADHD is a disease. Furthermore, these “symptoms” are actually nothing more than someone’s observations of your child’s behavior, and the truth is they are not even reliable as behavioral observations. To be reliable, people must agree that your child has “ADHD.” An article in the prestigious Journal of the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry, printed in September 2000, says that the diagnosis is very unreliable. Many children who are supposed to be “ADHD” are not identified, and many children who are identified as not having ADHD are identified as having it. This means that research done to support the identification and treatment of ADHD that uses the DSM-IV definition totally lacks support. It also means that no medical person correctly diagnoses ADHD. ADD and ADHD are politically manufactured concepts, created by committees of the American Psychiatric Association. ADD was created in 1980, ADHD in 1987. The plain truth is that they are not real diseases in any legitimate scientific meaning of the term disease. To declare otherwise is not medicine; it is fraud.

3. Medication (such as Ritalin) corrects the chemical imbalance. Remember first there is no demonstrated chemical imbalance (see point 1). The brain does have chemicals that help cells “talk” to each other that are called neurotransmitters. However, when a professional says that one of these chemicals, usually a variety of something called Dopamine, needs some kind of correction, and that they have just the right kind of medicine to do this, you are being misled. This idea assumes that nerves only “talk” to nerves that use the same chemicals. That is absolutely positively false. It is a lie at worst, a gross oversimplification at best. It is unethical for a medical professional to state or imply otherwise.

4. The medication (e.g., Ritalin) is a mild stimulant with few or no side effects. “Side effect” is a euphemism; all drugs (alleged medications) have a variety of effects. It is vitally important that you personally research the effects of any drug you might consider for your child. Go to the Physicians Desk Reference (PDR), ask your neighborhood pharmacist to print you a list of side effects, and/or get the references listed at the end of this brochure. You need to find out about all possible effects — those considered common (such as nervousness, insomnia, and loss of appetite, and those considered rare (such as toxic psychosis and death). The lie that Ritalin is a mild stimulant is even more difficult to maintain since a recently concluded study at the Brookhaven National Laboratory (BNL), and published in the Journal of the American Medical Association, not only confirmed the similarities of cocaine and Ritalin, but found that Ritalin is more potent than cocaine in its effect on the dopamine system in the brain. Referring to Ritalin as “kiddy cocaine” is not a joke.

It is important to know that the use of stimulant medication can mask the symptoms of potentially fatal disorders that could be causing your child’s problems with inattention or activity. It is also important to know that if your child really is having problems with attention and concentration, this could be caused by problems within the class environment (no work breaks, poor environmental temperature regulation, poor acoustics, poor lighting, poor teaching, etc.) or within other areas of your child’s life (nutrition, TV and video overstimulation, family stress and conflict, etc.).

5. If your child had diabetes, you would give him insulin, wouldn’t you? This is one of the most common, and heinous statements that doctors and other professionals make to parents. It is a heavy guilt trip telling parents they are negligent and irresponsible if they don’t go along with the pressure to drug their children. Remember clearly, as described in point 1 above, that ADHD is in no way a real disease; to imply otherwise is a lie. The truth is that protecting your children from toxic drugs is being completely responsible. It is those who advocate these drugs for children who are abdicating responsibility and avoiding the challenge of truly meeting the needs of our children.

6. You are going against medical advice. Physicians work for you. There is something called informed consent. If they have given you false or inaccurate information, or attempted to deceive you in any way, then the advice that they have given is faulty and you can justifiably take matters (concerning “ADHD”) into your own hands. It is your responsibility to protect the short and long-term health, well-being and development of your child.

Resources

Breeding, J. The Wildest Colts Make The Best Horses. Bright Books, 1996.

Breggin, P. Talking Back To Ritalin. Common Courage Press, 1998.

Informative Websites

www.adhdfraud.org – Dr. Fred Baughman’s excellent website, containing the best of his essays revealing that ADHD is not a real disease.

www.wildestcolts.com – John Breeding, PhD, posts a wealth of information on psychiatry, parenting and his work as director of Texans For Safe Education.

www.attention-deficit-disorder.org. Profiles the work that some of us are doing to provide the truth about the fraudulent and harmful labeling and psychiatric drugging of our children.