I can’t believe this has happened (and is happening) to so many people. I feel for all of you out there who’ve been raped or abused, I’ve been through it once too.
My mum was in England with my grandpa at the time and my brother, sister and I were left with my dad for around 10 days. On one of those days as I was walking past my dad’s room to go to my own, right after having a shower, my dad called me into his room. I told him to wait a second because I had to get dressed but he insisted that I just go to him. (I was only around 6 years old at the time and I didn’t know anything about sex). I went into the room and saw him lying on his bed naked and he asked me to lie down next to him.. again I insisted I go get dressed first but he told me to shut-up and obey so I did. He made me do things to him and after a while he let me go and that was it. I was confused and didn’t know what had just happened and I guess I forgot about it then. A while later I got a flashback of what happened and I told my sister about it. Apparently she had seen me go in his room that day and ‘knew’ what was going to happen but was too young and helpless to do anything about it. She also told me that he was doing the same to her, the difference being that with me it was just once but the bastard did it to her for practically her whole childhood. I hate my dad with a passion but me and my sister have to act as though nothing ever happened and live as normally as we can (which we do). We talk about it occasionally but it hurts too much. We decided never to tell our mum because we don’t want her going through such pain. My sister is now 18 and I’m almost 17. She is the person I look up to the most in this world and I love her to death. I have recently told my boyfriend about this and he’s been so great and I love him with all my heart.
by T.H. on 23 Oct 2005

I don’t know exactly how to start talking about my story but to just let it out. I am now 20 years old and was 19 years old when I was raped by an acquaintance on my college campus. I was coming back from the library and I ran into this guy in a car after I got into my complex and we started talking. He said it was his birthday and there wasn’t much to do on campus. I agreed because I was actually waiting for my friend while I was in the library. He asked me for my number so that we could hook up later on and find something to do around campus. I figured cool, that’s how you meet people on a college campus and that’s how I had met most of my friends. Well it turned out that he had lived right behind me and I ran into him on my way to my door and he said he would call me later. He called me later and said that he and some of his friends had found something to do and that they were drinking and going out and asked me if I wanted to come along and I could invite some friends, just come over his place. I went over to his place and as I tried to call some of my friends I started drinking. His roommate was playing songs and then another one of his friends came over. After I couldn’t get in contact with my friends I decided I didn’t want to go off campus by myself with three guys and I said I wasn’t going and I was going to leave, we could go again some other night. They said that they were really bored and to have a few more drinks and call a few more times. I didn’t think anything of it and I did. As the alcohol started to hit me I decided I wanted to leave. As I was getting my stuff the boy I had met grabbed me and started feeling and kissing me and I told him to stop and pushed him. He was holding me and pulled me down to the floor and my head hit the floor and knocked me into a daze. As I tried to get back up they turned the lights off and they took turns raping me. I tried to push myself up but I couldn’t. I tried grabbing onto everything but they pulled me and pinned me down. I was so afraid to scream that I just gave up. When they were done they told me to put my clothes back on a get out. I ran out of the apartment and back to my apartment and found nobody. I was so scared that I ran to my car and locked myself inside. I called my best friend and he took me to the hospital because I had passed out and went into seizure. When I woke up I had to do tests and do a rape kit and report my story to the police. I feel so lost because in court they blamed it on the fact that we had all been drinking and during the school hearing one of the board members made it seem like it was my fault. I feel no self worth. I had confided in an older male who was close to me like a father because my father passed away when I was young and he repeatedly raped me, and I have never told anybody because of what I went through at school. I have been trying to deal with what has happened, but I find myself paranoid and feeling alone. Day by day I think about it and when I manage to sleep I have nightmares about it. I feel so ashamed and embarrassed I just bottle it all up. I am lost.
by Cherylon 28 May 2005

It has been very hard for me to deal with what has happened to me. In reading these stories I have found a way to look at what has happened as a way to reach out to people who are going through this too, that is exactly what this site has done for me and before I start ‘my story’ I would like to thank all the people who have shared their stories and found the courage to write it out. I hope this isn’t too long…
In late June of 2004, I was molested for several days by my step-father’s stepdad, I called him papa. He came to OUR house and stayed the week for a mini vacation (he lives in Chicago). I was so excited and happy because this was a man I trusted and loved like my own grandfather. All though I was excited for his arrival, I was a little scary because a few months earlier, when my family and I went to visit him and other realities, we went swimming and I was soon left alone with only him. Long story short he held on to me and he put his fingers in between my bottom trap on my swim suit. So scared to tell anyone that I didn’t, being scared of opening up a door I have never seen. I soon began to realize the looks he gave to me when no one else was around, the way he touched me wasn’t like how he touched anyone else…but soon I buried all suspicion deep in my thoughts and over looked all signs that led up to the nights in June. He came into town and I was nothing but excited, later on that night I found him slowly moving his hand up and down my legs, we were in the living room and I prayed for my parents to walk in and disrupt this but he stopped and no way was I telling. A few hours later, it was time to go to sleep, I had to give up my room to papa, he asked me to watch TV with him, I couldn’t deny a guest, so I turned on the TV in the living area outside of my room, he said no lets go watch it from the bed. So I hesitated to get up, but I did. I sat on my bed and he laid down. He began to caress my arms and I held on to my remote and kept changing the channels. I could only wonder what would happen next. He started to kiss my check, then moved close to my mouth, I pushed him and said no, that did not stop him. He moved his fingers from the outside of my clothes to my bare skin. His fingers soon found their way into my pant and I was terrified. I said no I yelled no and nothing stopped, it only got worse. He began to rub my breast and kiss me any where he pleased. All through this he said “don’t tell anyone, no one, not even your best friend.” I was so scared! This happened every night and every morning until Saturday (the 22 was a Tuesday). With every time we met, it seemed to get worse, I soon began to pretend I was asleep and kick and shove him off of me. I said no, and I never stopped saying it, one time when he kissed me I bit his tongue, nothing seemed to stop him, he held me down, and made me so scared. I was not planning on telling and to this day I don’t know why I did, but I am happy I did tell. Papa denied all of what I said and then a few months later came forward to one night. To this day he has not fully claimed his actions and we have a court date soon in March. I am terrified. Even though I am physically fine, emotionally I’m a wreck. I have to constantly remind myself there will be a tomorrow, and sometimes I take the hurt and pain out on myself. In a way I feel like each one of those nights he was asking if a wanted to die a little bit, because that is exactly how I feel.
Thank you so much to anyone who took the time to read this, it means a lot to me.
by Lacyon 20 Jan 2005

From the age of 5, I was sexualy abused by my father. I had told my mum several times and she would ask him about it and he would deny it like always. Mum and dad ended up seperating my dad was a very controling, manipulative man so I remaned living at his house. The abuse was still an occurance but because my mum was abused as a child, she had taught me that it was wrong if someone touches you in your private spots and as I got older I realised that he didnt have the power, I DID. So one nght I went into his room while he was asleep and I got into bed with him. I was in denial that he would do anything to me but I wanted to catch him out. He started touching me, it was discusting. I got up and went in my own room the next.
I thaught this is it, am I going to let him do this to me again? NO, so I rang him he was at work and I said “you touched me last night” he was speachless. I said “I am leaving and there is nothing you can do about it” I thaught he would yell at me, he didnt. He started crying he said “no dont leave im sorry if I have hurt you” that was it for me. I couldnt take this anymore, I told my mum she was distrort she said sorry about 10 times. I dont blame her. Then my mum and I told the family they didnt belive us. That gave my mum doubt on if it was true or not. I ended up moving out of my mums and was living at a friends. He gained all the control back a couple of weeks after I got a phone call of my mum telling me she didnt belive me. I was all on my own 15 years old so I turned to drugs and alcohol untill I couldnt do it anymore so I confronted my mum told her the story again streight away she got us a house to live in the next couple of weeks. I went to the police I wanted to get him REVENGE was all I could think about I was taking him to court. Then befor the last court hearing there was a knock at the door, it was the police informing us that he had comite suiside. Everything came tumboling down, at first I was upset but after that I thought good I will never have to face him again. It was just my mum, brother and little sister… I am now 17 and I am back at school I have had a boyfriend for 2 years and I know I am going to live happily ever after……because he can’t hurt me anymore
by rebecca parkeron 4 Aug 2004

PARENTS’ CHALLENGING BEHAVIOURS
One of the realities of family life is that each parent brings their emotional baggage into their parenting role. There is no person that I know that does not have some doubts about their worth and capability. Clearly, vulnerability is on a continuum from low to extremely high. In my clinical experience of working with individual children and adolescents I can trace the origins of their difficulties back five, six, and even seven generations. These origins are not genetic in nature, but a passing on of emotional baggage from generation to generation and, unless somewhere along that generation line someone stops, reflects and takes the necessary actions to bring about emotional and social maturity, the baggage gets passed on. It is not that parents want to deliberately block the wellbeing of their children, but the reality is that is what happens should they not resolve their inner emotional and outer social conflicts.

It is the ways that a parent’s emotional baggage manifests itself that become the challenging behaviours that threaten the well-being of children. A parent’s challenging behaviour is best defined as those actions or omissions that, on the one hand, invite the parent to reflect on his or her vulnerability, and, on the other hand, pose a block to a child’s mature development. An example will help clarify what I am saying. Take a father who is addicted to work, perfectionistic and short-tempered. His frequent absence can lead to his children feeling that his work is far more important than their presence. His unrealistic expectations of high academic achievement undermines children’s sense of their lovability and capability and, in defence, the child may either become work addicted and perfectionistic like his Dad or totally rebel. In rebelling, the child cleverly goes the opposite way to his father’s ways and so he will hate and avoid schoolwork and be utterly careless in the way he carries out tasks. The father’s short-temper becomes a threat to children expressing their feelings, thoughts, unmet needs and grievances and so children develop the defensive (and, subsequently) challenging behaviour of passivity. Some children rebel against a father’s short-temper and become even more aggressive than the father and in this way the sad cycle of the father’s emotional baggage begins to be repeated. Note that those children who become passive in the face of the father’s aggressiveness also repeat the cycle of vulnerability, but in a different way.

What does father need to do? He needs to recognise his challenging behaviours, see the effects his responses are having on himself, his partner and his children and be determined to change how he sees himself, his work, his partner and his children. When he finds he is not resolving his emotional baggage, it is crucial that he seeks out professional help for the sake of himself, his marriage and his children. It is an act of caring courage and maturity to admit to one’s vulnerabilities and seek the appropriate psycho-social help necessary to make mature progress. The deeper the level of maturity of a parent the more he or she has to offer in terms of the well-being of the family.

It is now a truism that parents can only bring children to the same level of development and maturity they have reached themselves.

A challenging behaviour that is more typical of mothers is being over-involved with their children and not allowing children to do things for themselves, thereby inducing in the children the challenging behaviour of helplessness around care of self. Where there is an over-belonging to her children, a mother needs to reflect and check to what extent does she belong to herself? It is only in the resolution of this will she be in a position to give and receive and provide the opportunities for her children to take responsibility for themselves.

There are many challenging behaviours that children experience from their parents – irritability, anxiety, over-protection, aggression, unrealistic expectations, ridicule, scoldings, depression, passivity, to name but a few. It is crucial that parents reflect on what makes them act in these ways towards their children and to refrain from blaming (another challenging behaviour) their children for their responses. All our actions, words, thoughts and feelings are revelations about ourselves and are not caused by other people. When each of us owns our own responses, reflects on them and take the corrective actions needed, then the world becomes a safer place for all, most of all for children.
Dr. Tony Humphreys is a clinical psychologist and author of All About Children, Questions Parents Ask.

When I was 7 my father came into my room, set me on his lap and touched me. I didn’t really realize it was wrong at the time. I had grown up watching my dad rape my mom. He abused my 5 siblings and me daily. It was really just something else that happened. When I was 15 I was put in a mental institution. I told the DR I was seeing about it. He of course had to notify my parents of the charge I had made. Then contact the Social workers (DHS). I was really scared. The social worker went and talked to my parents and then came to me. My parents had shown her letters about me having sex. She said I seemed like a dishonest person. I couldn’t believe it … I started crying and screaming at her. I reached out for help and it wasn’t there. Dr Bob made the worker leave. Nothing ever came of my confession. It was so hard for me to get out. It only seemed to cause more problems though. I am now 18 and married to wonderful man. I have a daughter and another baby on the way. But I live every day alone. It seems like no one really understands me. I can’t reach sexual pleasure … I have to pretend. For the longest time I have lived my life in constant agony. I am sick of it. I am not a bad person. I did nothing wrong. If only I could convince myself of that.
by Hurt and scared on 16 Feb 2005

About Adult Survivors of Child Abuse

WHAT IS CHILD ABUSE?

Child abuse can take the form of any act of physical, emotional or sexual abuse perpetrated against a child. Child abuse can also take the form of neglect–ignoring the child’s emotional and or physical needs. Child abuse can and does take place outside of the family–with stepfamilies, foster families or babysitters.

HOW TO TELL IF YOU WERE ABUSED AS A CHILD

Sometimes it is very difficult to be sure whether or not you actually were abused as a child. You may be blocking memories because you are not yet ready to cope with them all on your own. Here are some questions to ask yourself which may help you to be more sure about the past (from J. Patrick Gannon, Soul Survivors):
Did your parents’ discipline involve corporal punishment? Did it result in bruises or injuries? How frequently did this discipline occur and did you ever feel their behavior was out of control?
Were any of your interactions with your parents either overtly or subtly sexual? Were you touched or talked to in a sexual manner and left feeling confused or uncomfortable?
How were you emotionally treated by your parents on a day-to-day basis? Were you regularly criticized, threatened, invalidated or ignored?

WHAT IS MEANT BY THE TERM SURVIVOR OF CHILD ABUSE?

Being an adult survivor of child abuse means that you or someone your care about endured the pain of child abuse and survived it. Unfortunately, the survival tactics used to cope with the abuse can later get in the way of productive and satisfying adult lives. Dr. Gannon lists some of the “symptoms” of “survivors syndrome”:
Relationship Problems–fighting, blaming, mistrusting, poor communication skills and difficulty with intimacy.
Low Self Esteem–self doubt, self blame, shame.
Self Sabotage–self destructive or self mutilating behavior.
Sexual Problems–sexual inhibition or promiscuity, flashbacks to abusive experiences during sexual contact, inability to achieve orgasm, pain or numbing during intimacy.
Symptoms of Trauma–feelings of fear, panic, agitation, anxiety, numbing of bodily areas, nightmares, multiple personalities, feelings of being disconnected from body.
Physical Ailments–includes psychosomatic illnesses, stomachaches, eating disorders, skin disorders, asthma, headaches and phobias.
Social Alienation–feeling different from others, not accepted, stigmatized.
Difficulty in Handling Feelings–trouble in recognizing, managing and appropriately expressing feelings.

CAN ADULT SURVIVORS OF CHILD ABUSE OVERCOME THIS SYNDROME?
Yes, it is possible for survivors to recover from the abuse syndrome. The recovery process can be a difficult one. The road to a healthy resolution of an abusive childhood involves deep self exploration and sometimes painful recollection of past events and people.

WHERE TO BEGIN?

Recovery is very difficult to achieve by yourself. There a variety of sources to which you may turn for help:
Reading about abuse survival is a helpful and gentle way for you to begin to explore your own experience. Some books to look at (many are available in the Center library and at most large bookstores): Soul Survivors by J. Patrick Gannon, Ph.D.; The Courage to Heal: A Guide for Women Survivors of Child Abuse by Bassie and Davis; There is a Way Out by Richard Yao.

Self Help Groups are a good place to start and provide a good support system for someone going through the self exploration process involved in recovery. Hearing others recount their experiences of abuse will not only validate your own feelings (which may be marked by confusion), but will give you a springboard for resolving some of the conflicts these feelings evoke: Children of Alcoholics: (800) 359-2623; Incest Survivors Anonymous: (800) 422-4453; St. Vincent’s Hospital Rape & Incest Crisis Program: (212) 604-8068.

Counseling may be a more comfortable mode for you to explore the past. A counselor can lead you through the fear, pain and confusion of your abusive experience and guide you supportively along the path of recovery.

France mulls ‘psychological violence’ ban

By David Chazan
BBC News, Paris

Psychological violence can be hard to prove
If you insult your wife or husband repeatedly, you could soon find yourself in court if you live in France.
The charge? Psychological violence.
That’s what the new offence will be called if a bill backed by the government is passed by parliament.
Once considered a purely private domain, rows between married or cohabiting couples could now prompt intervention from the state.
The French government wants to take the controversial step of introducing a new law banning “psychological violence” between married couples or partners living together.
But there are questions about how such an offence could be proved.
No visible scars
Many people fear that courts might find it tricky to assess the rival claims of squabbling couples.

He would start by saying I was very fat, that I was ugly, that I wasn’t any use for anything
Gabrielle
But the government says it would allow the authorities to deal with mental and verbal abuse in couples which leaves no visible scars, but where the victims are often badly damaged psychologically.
Gabrielle – not her real name – is a media professional in her 30s. She has a good job in Paris but she says psychological violence by her ex-partner pushed her to the brink of a breakdown.
“It started when I got pregnant,” she told me. “He would start by saying that I was very fat, that I was ugly, of course, that I wasn’t any use for anything, that I couldn’t even work.”
She said when she challenged him, he replied that it was a joke.
But the abuse continued. One day, she says they had an argument in their car and he punched the windscreen so hard that it broke.
“I thought I was going to go crazy and he said, ‘OK are you going crazy? I’m just going to drop you at the psychiatric asylum’. And that’s what he did.”
Gabrielle says he drove to a hospital, told her to get out of the car and drove off.
“When he left I was just breaking down and my daughter was crying inside the car.”
‘My word against his’
If there had been a law against psychological violence, Gabrielle said she would have taken her ex-partner to court.
But she admitted that proving the allegations would have been difficult.
“It would be basically my word against his,” she said. “In very rare cases would he say something in front of somebody else.”
Even supporters of the bill have concerns about how courts could prosecute a crime for which there is unlikely to be any physical evidence.
Psychiatrist Marie-France Hirigoyen is an authority on psychological violence but she said she was “cautious” about a new law because she fears it might be easily misused.
“I think it’s important to have a law but it must be formulated so there isn’t too much risk of manipulation or mistakes,” she told me.

Even if there are no physical blows, it’s still devastating
Dr Marie-France Hirigoyen
“I treat people whose lives have been torn apart but they haven’t been hit. There are no physical marks, no proof.”
Dr Hirigoyen suggested that recordings of phone calls could be used as evidence – along with medical and psychiatric assessments.
Lawyer Laurent Hincker, a fervent supporter of the bill, said it would not be the only crime on the books that is difficult to prove.
“There are other crimes which are also hard to prove, such as bullying or harassment in the workplace,” he said.
“For a long time people said you can’t have a law against bullying because it’s too difficult to prove, but now there is a law and people get convicted.”
One problem is that the concept of psychological violence may be hard to define.
But Dr Hirigoyen said it was obvious to a professional.
“It’s a relationship which is based on control and domination – and if you want to prevent physical violence, you have to take action early on,” she said.
Dr Hirigoyen said psychological violence was often the first step towards physical violence.
“But even if there are no physical blows, it’s still devastating,” she added.
Public misgivings
Last year the French government launched a TV campaign to increase awareness of psychological violence.

The government has launched a TV campaign to raise awareness
The campaign featured a 30-second spot produced by a film director, Jacques Audiard.
It shows a man who denigrates and insults his wife.
It also links physical violence with mental abuse.
On average, almost three women die each week in France after being assaulted by a partner or ex-partner.
The government says if the authorities can deal with psychological violence, physical violence can be prevented or reduced.
But many members of the public have misgivings about how a law would work in practice.
Parliament is almost certain to pass this controversial bill on psychological violence.
It is backed by Prime Minister Francois Fillon and key members of the governing party.
And the move is being welcomed by women’s groups – and by those, like Gabrielle, who believe it could save women from mental breakdown and the threat of physical violence.

When my parents were in the middle of their divorce, I was left in the care of my uncle. From age 6 – 12, I was molested by my uncle. He made me do all of these really strange things that I never understood. He used to make me watch porn with him while he pressed himself against me, his hand in my pants. He bathed me in the shower, “teaching me how to be a woman” while shaving off my public hair when it started to come in. He told me that everything he did was for me. Like, when he rubbed lotion all over and in me — that was somehow “good for me.” He used to stick objects like Q-tips inside me telling me that women have to clean themselves.
As a trade off, I was “safe” from my fighting parents, and he offered me a very twisted love and acceptance.
He eventually broke things off with me when he found a girlfriend. I felt devastated and didn’t know how I’d survive without him. At this point, he was who I had identified my family as. I began to get depressed and act out. In school education classes on sexual abuse made me uncomfortable, and I began to understand things a little clearer.
I had been in various forms of therapy since I was 10. I told my therapist about the abuse when I was 13.
My dad said he always thought that my mom’s brother was sick and that he had a feeling that the abuse had been going on. My mom had a hard time believing me and my grandparents (their son) believed me, but still kept on seeing my uncle. My mother still insists that her sacrifice of never seeing her brother again (her decision, I never asked her to) is a lot harder for her than anything the abuse has / will do to me.

Around 15 when I started really developing, I got more depressed and became anorexic. I guess I felt the need to always be a little girl. I kept my breasts at bay for a couple of years. I lost my period. Also during this time, I began “dating.” I put that in quotes, because I would have a relationship with a guy, but never allowing them to make a sexual advancement.
At 16 I became compulsive and then shut down about masturbation, linking it back to my uncle around 16. Shortly after, I shut sexually down and put on a lot of weight, no longer caring about my image.
I wore my dad’s clothes, glasses, and let my hair turn into dread locks. I guess I had no self esteem. I became bulimic for a short period of time.
At 18, I feel that my life took a turn for the better when I gained some self confidence when I learned how to blow glass. I came under the wing of a great friend and mentor who I am still in contact with.

I am now 20.
Through various fortunate events, I have come a long way.
I still don’t have it all figured out, but I am keeping tabs on myself. I have recently redeveloped my bulimia, but I am working on that … as soon as I tell my therapist. I still allow men to touch me even if I don’t want them to. When a guy friend made an advance on me, I felt trapped and just decided to let him have his way. I like to think of it as an extra workout for the day, although I know that that thinking is ridiculous and unfair to myself. I still have trouble keeping my mind and body connected even when I am in a loving and mutual relationship.
But I am reclaiming my body again. I have began to get rekindle my love of body building and doing some life drawing. For me, life drawing was a way to reclaim my own body through drawing. I found it really healing.
by Pamelaon 23 Mar 2005

Dumping emotional baggage

by Kelly

At some point in your life, you have had to deal with emotional hurt or tragedy. It doesn’t matter who you are, how rich you are, the color of your skin, or the geographical area that you live in. At some point, we all get hurt, in the emotional sense. When this happens, an imaginary suitcase opens in our minds – or possibly in our hearts – and we start mentally packing that hurt into that suitcase.

As we age, each time we are hurt, we add more to that suitcase, and may even need additional luggage as time moves along. Overtime, that baggage can get very heavy, and it can actually prevent us from really getting the most out of our future relationships, as well as life in general. So, at some point, you should really ask yourself if your past is actually determining your future.

How does the past determine the future? It can actually happen in a wide variety of ways. For example, if we have been lied to or cheated on by someone that we loved and trusted, we most often develop trust issues. We tend to pack that hurt up, and carry it right along with us into the next relationship. When we do this, it harms that next relationship right from the beginning, and the relationship won’t even be given the chance to reach its highest potential.

To get the most out of your life, and your relationships, start by mentally opening that suitcase and unpacking it. Examine each hurt, and instead of looking at all of the negatives associated with it, instead try to see how something positive came out of it. For example, if you were hurt in your last relationship, but you are now with a wonderful new person, you should realize that if the previous relationship had not ended, you wouldn’t be with the person you are now with. If you were fired from a job, but now have a better job, you may not be working in that new position if you had not been fired. For every negative, there is almost always a positive, if you look for it.

Make a list of all of the hurts that you unpack from that suitcase. Write it all down, and find the positives. Then, make a list of all of the people who have hurt you in the past. This may not be an easy exercise, as it often requires reliving the hurt that they caused you. But think of each person, and each hurtful situation, in a different light. What positive thing did you bring away from your relationship with that person? How did they hurt you? Have you forgiven them? If not, make it a point to do so now, and simply let it go. You don’t have to call them or talk to them if you don’t want to. Just decide – in your own mind – that you are done with it, and ready to move on.

Now, take a look at the present. Is there anything that you are not going after with full force? Maybe it is a job, a relationship, or a business deal. What is stopping you? Is it something from your past? If so, what is it from your past that is stopping you from moving forward? Once you realize what past event is stopping you from moving ahead now, you can deal with that past issue in your mind, do away with it, and get the ball rolling.

Again, we all get hurt at some point in our lives. The question is, are you going to allow that hurt to keep reverberating throughout your life? Let it go, and you will be amazed at how much happier you are, how much better you feel, in the physical sense, and how much more opportunity comes your way in the present, and in the future. Are you ready to unpack your emotional baggage?