When Will The Marriage End, After Divorce?
When Will The Marriage End, After Divorce?
When a chapter closes in our lives, we must grieve the loss and let it go. This is true with divorce. It’s the finality of mourning “what could have been” that is painful. Nevertheless, the work of processing the reality of divorce, with all of its implications and consequences, must be confronted with courage and integrity.
Completing our grieving, letting go of our partner and moving on becomes even more important if there are children involved. It is difficult to save our children from the ravages of divorce if we are unwilling to complete the work of ending our marriage after the divorce.
Many divorced people, unknowingly, remain bonded to each other through the use of anger, manipulation, and the refusal to negotiate with one another. One might ask, if a couple could not promote understanding during the marriage, why should they try after the divorce?
A marriage never ends until the individuals involved are no longer bound together by animosity, stubbornness and unwillingness to promote understanding, particularly if children are involved. Any couple who chooses to end a marriage must recognize the overriding need to place the well-being of their children above their own needs. This means that both divorced parents must put the desire to protect their children above their need to put forth “their story” as to why the divorce occurred.
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