A friend gave me this site. I have a long and depressing story I suppose. I was sexually molested as a child. At the age of 5 till 6 1/2 I was forced to give oral,touch him, and he touched me. Then at the age of 14 I was staying over at a friends house. Her brother Johnny was staying for the summer. he followed me around the whole day, taunting me “I love you, if u love me u’ll fuck me”….he even went to the extent to shove his hands down my pants a couple times. I shoved him away but he just kept coming back. My friend and I alone in the house with him I went upstairs to get something from my bag. I turned around and he was standing there smiling. I remember thinking “run dumbass” but I froze. He grabbed me and threw my down, I tryed to get up but he was very muscular. Short but very strong. I fought for like 10 min, he smacked me hard, enough to almost knock me out…it stunned me untill he ripped my jeans off. I remember looking down and starting to get up. He pinned me…holding my hands with one hand and using his other hand to pry my legs open..once he was between them he started touching me and when i felt him there…i stared out the window till it was over. When he was done he pulled out…it was everywhere…blood ran down my legs (I was a virgin)..he said two things “If ur pregnant it isnt mine” and “clean ur mess up or I’ll tell everyone how big a slut u are”…i clean the sheets up and zoned out the rest of the day. The next day my friend wanted to talk so we went for a walk. The woods behind thier house was peaceful, I wanted to tell her but I was so scared. Then we heard something behind us. He came up and i started backing up. He told her to go back to the house, we wanted to be alone. I looked at her…i couldnt speak.I shook my head no but she went cause she was scared of him too. He started after me..I ran screaming…NO NO DONT PLEASE DONT. Crying so hard I couldnt see, I tripped and when i started to get up he tackled me. Pinning me down I felt so helpless I just screamed NOOOO NOOOO STOP. He covered my mouth and I gave up. I just went limp and cryed. He said ” U want it again or u would have went home”( i stayed the night even after the first time) I blamed myself for years. He just walked off after he was done…giving me this look i can see to this day. I layed there, cold but numb for hours…i remeber my friend touching my soulder and jolting into relity..i was leaned against a tree talking to myself.(she said, i cant remember) She says i didnt say anything as we walked back…i dont even remember getting dressed. He sat across from me at the dinner table that night, winking at me. Her other brothers bothered me from that day on i had to fight. Ive fought since i was 5.

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