For most people, when they hear the word intimacy they often think of the physical, sexual side of their marriage or relationship. However, this is not the case when you are talking of true intimacy. Yes, sex is a big part of being intimate in a marriage, but the actual definition of intimacy is, a familiar and very close affective connection with another as a result of entering deeply or closely into relationship through knowledge and experience of the other. This basically means we know the workings of our partner’s mind. We have spent the time and energy to really get to know one another. To glow in each other’s strengths and to accept each others weaknesses. True intimacy takes time to develop, it doesn’t happen at the click of the fingers. Mistaking intimacy for lust is a very common mistake to make and if you have made this assumption then fixing the problem that you are having in the bedroom may be easier to fix than you might think.

There are 4 main aspects of a relationship: Physical, Spiritual, Mental, and Emotional. For a marriage to succeed, a certain level of intimacy is needed in all these categories. There are several different factors that keep us from being truly intimate. When you can identify the reasons keeping you from being intimate in any aspects of your marriage you can start to knock down the barriers, and achieve a closer bond with your spouse than you ever thought possible.

Identifying Intimacy Barriers

From my years of experience in this field, I have found the main factor keeping us from achieving optimum intimacy is fear. This fear usually takes 2 main forms: fear of rejection and fear of being hurt.

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