Hundreds of passionate parents wrote to tell us how they manage
to keep romance alive after kids have arrived on the scene. Their ideas
were so inspiring that we couldn’t wait to go home and put them into
action. Of course, a few classic scene-setters always help: Candles,
wine, music, and sleeping children. But sometimes even e-mail and a
quick shower do the trick — after all, desperate people are often the
most creative.

Flirting and cyber flirting

“I
send my husband e-mail saying that I can’t wait to be alone with him.
When he gets home, we flirt until the kids go to bed. We also bet on
everything — football games, the outcome of a show we’re watching,
anything. We bet for, well, favors! And every once in a while, I light
candles in the bedroom before we go to bed.”
— Nicole, New Jersey

“My
husband and I have five children, so we never have much time to
ourselves. To keep romance in our lives we send each other e-mail
talking about our desires. It’s easier to be intimate at night if the
thoughts have been floating around in our minds during the day.”
— Judy, Ohio

“We
send short, sweet text messages to each other’s cell phones. We
compliment each other. We meet for lunch dates. We often let household
chores go undone and try not to worry about it. We don’t expect too much
of each other and try not to get disappointed with one another. We’ve
learned that these things are vital to keeping the marriage alive, not just the romance.”
— Pamela Work, mother of Tiffany, 8, and Cecily, 2, Dallas, Texas

“If
my husband is on the computer, I go over and rub his back to let him
know that I’m thinking of him. And if I’m doing the dishes, he’ll come
over and pat my bottom. With a 2-year-old in the house, sex isn’t as
plentiful as it used to be. But with all that playing around, it doesn’t
take long to get in the mood.”
— Nikki, Virginia

Shower power

Parents say: Keeping romance alive after kids arrive | BabyCenter

“Our favorite thing to do is shower together. It’s something we have to do anyway, so we do it together. Once our daughter’s down for the night, we both hop into a steamy shower and talk about whatever’s on our minds. Our troubles and fears go ‘down the drain,’ and it lets us slow down, relax, and enjoy each other.”
— Kara, Maryland

“We’re always exhausted (our 3-year-old isn’t a great sleeper), and romance is often the last thing on our minds. Still, if we don’t find some way to stay intimate we grow distant and start snapping at each other. So once or twice a week I wait up for him to get home and we jump in the shower together. We usually end up sharing some intimacy — from shower sex to just talking and hugging. The important thing is to stay connected.”
— Jolie, Illinois

Editor’s note: We had dozens of responses recommending the couple-shower concept. In the interests of brevity, we’ll stop at two and assume you get the idea. Now, go hit the showers!
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