Hello, My name is Vanessa…..I want to share some thoughts and my experience with you. I believe mine is not as extreme but it still is becoming worse as I grow older; turning 29 this year and it being very tough to start already.
I guess I will just start from the beginning when I was 6 years old I was taken away from my birth mother and step father by DCFS in Chicago IL. I remember the day so clear, even being so young. I was outside playing and a police woman walked up to me, I was alone in the back area of apartment. I knew my mother was not home. She and her boyfriend went out and left my brother Johnny locked in a closet and me outside. I didn’t know what to say to the police lady. I didn’t want to get in trouble. Even to this day I remember the feeling of relief when she was asking me questions. I knew they would take me and Johnny away and we wouldn’t have to deal with Jim, my moms boyfriend, who supported us; she did not work and had many issues. My mom never hurt me or Johnny just allowed it to always happen with fear of being thrown out on the streets and no where to go. Her family clearly did not want her.
The police broke the doors down in the apartment that day and carried my brother,who didn’t weigh more then 50lbs, out . As the police began talking with me they kept asking questions and my mother finally showed up. I even remember what she was wearing and the sad look on her face. She knew they were taking us and they did. We went to DCFS and they began the process of finding a home for us. It was harder to have people take in two children. I begged them to not separate us. They found a nice home for us and we bounced around a bit. My birth father no longer was involved in our lives; he had remarried and had more children. He would come in and out but never wanted to take us from DCFS or bring us to his home. I did my best to understand it all being so young, trying to stay strong for my brother who really got abused bad, locked up ,hit , and much worse; treated like a dog. I was more emotional until I grew older and things became much worse.
We eventually moved in with my aunt who told us that we had to lie because really my grandma was supposed to have custody of us but worked a lot. I know they wanted the check from the state of IL for us. It was only about that for them. Life was a bit better there I guess but not much. Johnny was still treated bad he was a hyper boy with little love. They would lock him up as well and he was involved in a fire at 7 years old that burned him bad. His bedroom was locked he couldn’t get out and it was in the middle of the night. After years of all this my mother won custody when I turned 11 and in the meantime she married the man who abused us and had a child with him and then was pregnant again.
When we returned much didn’t change. If anything Jim would use words of hurt that were so mean that even a dog shouldn’t be treated this way. He would put us and mother down so bad it was miserable every night. She would get him ready for work trying to please him so he wouldn’t explode with names to her or us. I feared him in such a way no one will ever know the damage he has done to my soul and heart. He made mother’s life so miserable and I never said a word I didn’t want my little sister Jamie and little brother Jimmy have to be taken away. I knew that life and how it made me feel and it changed me as a person.
He began to do inappropriate things as well, to this day people do not believe me but I am not lying he touched things that he shouldn’t have. This is when I knew things where becoming too much. I avoided him at all costs sailing through my teen years, taking the mental abuse and ignoring him. I knew one day I would take care of myself and no longer would have to deal with it. He would never give me money for school or take me to drive or give me rides when I wanted to join after school events. My mother was not able to drive she never has. I just went through those years the best I could watching other kids and didn’t understand why this was happening to us. I felt so bad for my mother who was a good wife and mother. He treated her like a slave and cheated on her and ruined her children; wasn’t it enough already. He is evil and will never understand what he did. Never……
My breaking point was at age 17. It was September, I had just started my senior year. No one ever asked me about college no one asked what I wanted to be, Jim told me I would end up like my mother nothing and probably pregnant and that when I was 18 I had to get out. I began to panic not knowing where to go. Doing just OK in school, no work skills I dated older guys and I met Tom. He was sweet, only a couple years older and he always took care of me.
We went to the Hanover Park Harvest fest. It was a hot day it was all of us Jimmy, Jamie John my mother. He began yelling at her on the ride home saying she was flirting and being so mean to her saying the C word and would talk so bad. I felt so bad for her I cant even explain it. I was beginning to stick up for myself and my mother and I said something and he made me walk home. When we got home he had her pinned in the bathroom; threatening her and pushing her around, mind you my mother is 110lbs, a little thing. I told him to take his hands off of her. He didn’t like that he said she is my wife I will do as I please. I said she is my mother and my BLOOD leave her alone, as he walked over to me I knew that was it, he was going to beat me. He punched me dead in the face and fell to the ground and he began kicking me. That’s when his grandma Mabel walked in. I will never forget her face and she yelled take your hands off that girl. I moved out 2 weeks later with a box of clothes and nothing. No one stopped me no one cared. I finished high school, Tom taught me to drive and I got a job.
I still have a hard time to this day and issues are becoming worse. I have anger and hurt feelings of why I can’t last with anyone. I can’t feel love. I have no idea what it is like to be truly happy. I am doing my best to cope with all of it. I know I must fix me for me. He will get his one day at the gates and I hope he reads this one day….The detail is light in my story. I do not like going back to these days, but I must share this story for my emotional health I want to love someone and I hope to have a family but I am not sure I can…
Thank you for taking time to read this. My abuser’s name is James.
Hello, My name is Vanessa…..I want to share some thoughts and my experience with you. I believe mine is not as extreme but it still is becoming worse as I grow older; turning 29 this year and it being very tough to start already.
I guess I will just start from the beginning when I was 6 years old I was taken away from my birth mother and step father by DCFS in Chicago IL. I remember the day so clear, even being so young. I was outside playing and a police woman walked up to me, I was alone in the back area of apartment. I knew my mother was not home. She and her boyfriend went out and left my brother Johnny locked in a closet and me outside. I didn’t know what to say to the police lady. I didn’t want to get in trouble. Even to this day I remember the feeling of relief when she was asking me questions. I knew they would take me and Johnny away and we wouldn’t have to deal with Jim, my moms boyfriend, who supported us; she did not work and had many issues. My mom never hurt me or Johnny just allowed it to always happen with fear of being thrown out on the streets and no where to go. Her family clearly did not want her.
The police broke the doors down in the apartment that day and carried my brother,who didn’t weigh more then 50lbs, out . As the police began talking with me they kept asking questions and my mother finally showed up. I even remember what she was wearing and the sad look on her face. She knew they were taking us and they did. We went to DCFS and they began the process of finding a home for us. It was harder to have people take in two children. I begged them to not separate us. They found a nice home for us and we bounced around a bit. My birth father no longer was involved in our lives; he had remarried and had more children. He would come in and out but never wanted to take us from DCFS or bring us to his home. I did my best to understand it all being so young, trying to stay strong for my brother who really got abused bad, locked up ,hit , and much worse; treated like a dog. I was more emotional until I grew older and things became much worse.
We eventually moved in with my aunt who told us that we had to lie because really my grandma was supposed to have custody of us but worked a lot. I know they wanted the check from the state of IL for us. It was only about that for them. Life was a bit better there I guess but not much. Johnny was still treated bad he was a hyper boy with little love. They would lock him up as well and he was involved in a fire at 7 years old that burned him bad. His bedroom was locked he couldn’t get out and it was in the middle of the night. After years of all this my mother won custody when I turned 11 and in the meantime she married the man who abused us and had a child with him and then was pregnant again.
When we returned much didn’t change. If anything Jim would use words of hurt that were so mean that even a dog shouldn’t be treated this way. He would put us and mother down so bad it was miserable every night. She would get him ready for work trying to please him so he wouldn’t explode with names to her or us. I feared him in such a way no one will ever know the damage he has done to my soul and heart. He made mother’s life so miserable and I never said a word I didn’t want my little sister Jamie and little brother Jimmy have to be taken away. I knew that life and how it made me feel and it changed me as a person.
He began to do inappropriate things as well, to this day people do not believe me but I am not lying he touched things that he shouldn’t have. This is when I knew things where becoming too much. I avoided him at all costs sailing through my teen years, taking the mental abuse and ignoring him. I knew one day I would take care of myself and no longer would have to deal with it. He would never give me money for school or take me to drive or give me rides when I wanted to join after school events. My mother was not able to drive she never has. I just went through those years the best I could watching other kids and didn’t understand why this was happening to us. I felt so bad for my mother who was a good wife and mother. He treated her like a slave and cheated on her and ruined her children; wasn’t it enough already. He is evil and will never understand what he did. Never……
My breaking point was at age 17. It was September, I had just started my senior year. No one ever asked me about college no one asked what I wanted to be, Jim told me I would end up like my mother nothing and probably pregnant and that when I was 18 I had to get out. I began to panic not knowing where to go. Doing just OK in school, no work skills I dated older guys and I met Tom. He was sweet, only a couple years older and he always took care of me.
We went to the Hanover Park Harvest fest. It was a hot day it was all of us Jimmy, Jamie John my mother. He began yelling at her on the ride home saying she was flirting and being so mean to her saying the C word and would talk so bad. I felt so bad for her I cant even explain it. I was beginning to stick up for myself and my mother and I said something and he made me walk home. When we got home he had her pinned in the bathroom; threatening her and pushing her around, mind you my mother is 110lbs, a little thing. I told him to take his hands off of her. He didn’t like that he said she is my wife I will do as I please. I said she is my mother and my BLOOD leave her alone, as he walked over to me I knew that was it, he was going to beat me. He punched me dead in the face and fell to the ground and he began kicking me. That’s when his grandma Mabel walked in. I will never forget her face and she yelled take your hands off that girl. I moved out 2 weeks later with a box of clothes and nothing. No one stopped me no one cared. I finished high school, Tom taught me to drive and I got a job.
I still have a hard time to this day and issues are becoming worse. I have anger and hurt feelings of why I can’t last with anyone. I can’t feel love. I have no idea what it is like to be truly happy. I am doing my best to cope with all of it. I know I must fix me for me. He will get his one day at the gates and I hope he reads this one day….The detail is light in my story. I do not like going back to these days, but I must share this story for my emotional health I want to love someone and I hope to have a family but I am not sure I can…
Thank you for taking time to read this. My abuser’s name is James.
Hello, My name is Vanessa…..I want to share some thoughts and my experience with you. I believe mine is not as extreme but it still is becoming worse as I grow older; turning 29 this year and it being very tough to start already.I guess I will just start from the beginning when I was 6 years old I was taken away from my birth mother and step father by DCFS in Chicago IL. I remember the day so clear, even being so young. I was outside playing and a police woman walked up to me, I was alone in the back area of apartment. I knew my mother was not home. She and her boyfriend went out and left my brother Johnny locked in a closet and me outside. I didn’t know what to say to the police lady. I didn’t want to get in trouble. Even to this day I remember the feeling of relief when she was asking me questions. I knew they would take me and Johnny away and we wouldn’t have to deal with Jim, my moms boyfriend, who supported us; she did not work and had many issues. My mom never hurt me or Johnny just allowed it to always happen with fear of being thrown out on the streets and no where to go. Her family clearly did not want her.The police broke the doors down in the apartment that day and carried my brother,who didn’t weigh more then 50lbs, out . As the police began talking with me they kept asking questions and my mother finally showed up. I even remember what she was wearing and the sad look on her face. She knew they were taking us and they did. We went to DCFS and they began the process of finding a home for us. It was harder to have people take in two children. I begged them to not separate us. They found a nice home for us and we bounced around a bit. My birth father no longer was involved in our lives; he had remarried and had more children. He would come in and out but never wanted to take us from DCFS or bring us to his home. I did my best to understand it all being so young, trying to stay strong for my brother who really got abused bad, locked up ,hit , and much worse; treated like a dog. I was more emotional until I grew older and things became much worse.We eventually moved in with my aunt who told us that we had to lie because really my grandma was supposed to have custody of us but worked a lot. I know they wanted the check from the state of IL for us. It was only about that for them. Life was a bit better there I guess but not much. Johnny was still treated bad he was a hyper boy with little love. They would lock him up as well and he was involved in a fire at 7 years old that burned him bad. His bedroom was locked he couldn’t get out and it was in the middle of the night. After years of all this my mother won custody when I turned 11 and in the meantime she married the man who abused us and had a child with him and then was pregnant again.When we returned much didn’t change. If anything Jim would use words of hurt that were so mean that even a dog shouldn’t be treated this way. He would put us and mother down so bad it was miserable every night. She would get him ready for work trying to please him so he wouldn’t explode with names to her or us. I feared him in such a way no one will ever know the damage he has done to my soul and heart. He made mother’s life so miserable and I never said a word I didn’t want my little sister Jamie and little brother Jimmy have to be taken away. I knew that life and how it made me feel and it changed me as a person.He began to do inappropriate things as well, to this day people do not believe me but I am not lying he touched things that he shouldn’t have. This is when I knew things where becoming too much. I avoided him at all costs sailing through my teen years, taking the mental abuse and ignoring him. I knew one day I would take care of myself and no longer would have to deal with it. He would never give me money for school or take me to drive or give me rides when I wanted to join after school events. My mother was not able to drive she never has. I just went through those years the best I could watching other kids and didn’t understand why this was happening to us. I felt so bad for my mother who was a good wife and mother. He treated her like a slave and cheated on her and ruined her children; wasn’t it enough already. He is evil and will never understand what he did. Never……My breaking point was at age 17. It was September, I had just started my senior year. No one ever asked me about college no one asked what I wanted to be, Jim told me I would end up like my mother nothing and probably pregnant and that when I was 18 I had to get out. I began to panic not knowing where to go. Doing just OK in school, no work skills I dated older guys and I met Tom. He was sweet, only a couple years older and he always took care of me.We went to the Hanover Park Harvest fest. It was a hot day it was all of us Jimmy, Jamie John my mother. He began yelling at her on the ride home saying she was flirting and being so mean to her saying the C word and would talk so bad. I felt so bad for her I cant even explain it. I was beginning to stick up for myself and my mother and I said something and he made me walk home. When we got home he had her pinned in the bathroom; threatening her and pushing her around, mind you my mother is 110lbs, a little thing. I told him to take his hands off of her. He didn’t like that he said she is my wife I will do as I please. I said she is my mother and my BLOOD leave her alone, as he walked over to me I knew that was it, he was going to beat me. He punched me dead in the face and fell to the ground and he began kicking me. That’s when his grandma Mabel walked in. I will never forget her face and she yelled take your hands off that girl. I moved out 2 weeks later with a box of clothes and nothing. No one stopped me no one cared. I finished high school, Tom taught me to drive and I got a job.I still have a hard time to this day and issues are becoming worse. I have anger and hurt feelings of why I can’t last with anyone. I can’t feel love. I have no idea what it is like to be truly happy. I am doing my best to cope with all of it. I know I must fix me for me. He will get his one day at the gates and I hope he reads this one day….The detail is light in my story. I do not like going back to these days, but I must share this story for my emotional health I want to love someone and I hope to have a family but I am not sure I can…Thank you for taking time to read this. My abuser’s name is James.
(
90% of sexual abuse victims never tell
We are proudly hosted by Canadian Web Hosting, an affordable, easy-to-use, feature-rich, unlimited web hosting solution for Canadians. 