How to Ease the Effects of Divorce on Children

Making step families work

The so-called “blended family” is no longer an aberration in American society: It’s a norm.

Planning for remarriage

A marriage that brings with it children from a previous marriage presents many challenges. Such families should consider three key issues as they plan for remarriage:

Financial and living arrangements
Adults should agree on where they will live and how they will share their money. Most often partners embarking on a second marriage report that moving into a new home, rather than one of the partner’s prior residences, is advantageous because the new environment becomes “their home.” Couples also should decide whether they want to keep their money separate or share it. Couples who have used the “one-pot” method generally reported higher family satisfaction than those who kept their money separate.

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Nine psychological tasks for a good marriage

Research on what makes a marriage work shows that people in a good marriage have completed these psychological “tasks”:

• Separate emotionally from the family you grew up in; not to the point of estrangement, but enough so that your identity is separate from that of your parents and siblings.

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Couples’ inability to separate due to emotional and financial crises deepens in recession

Postponement of divorce and co-habitation of unhappy couples increases emotional instability

LOS ANGELES, June 15 /PRNewswire/ — According to the National Center for Health Statistics, the U.S. divorce rate is estimated at 47.9 percent.  From the expense of lawyers and the bureaucratic cost of judges, courts, and child support, to the increasing number of children traveling alone on airplanes for visits to non-custodial parents, the impact of divorce is estimated at $11.1 billion dollars each year; with another estimated $75.1 billion per year for grief counseling, therapy, life coaching and more.  While circumstances are unique for each couple, the dissolution of marriage is one of the most challenging life transitioning periods that can trigger feelings of profound loss and despair.  Divorce Detox cures the heartbreak and confusion of divorce, filling a much needed deficit in the mental health community for sufferers of divorce.

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Divorce Information-The Cost of Divorce:Emotional and Litigation Costs

Fees, Emotional Cost Of Going To Divorce Court Are Enormous
by Honorable Anne Kass. Ann Kass is a District Judge in the Second Judicial District State of New Mexico

Most people seem to know that divorce litigation can cost a lost of money for legal fees. My experience is that it often costs as much as $3,000 a side for a one day trial–just for lawyers. If expert witnesses are involved, their fees are over and above that.

But there are other costs as well–emotional costs.

One emotional cost of litigation is that it encourages the litigants to focus on the past, which diverts their time and energy from the present, and the present often just slips away.

Another emotional cost of litigation is that it reinforces the all-too-common human tendency to focus on fault and blame. Litigation also invites litigants to avoid taking responsibility for their own lives.

This also leads people to feel helpless.

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8 Fun Ways to Manage Stress

• posted by Samantha, selected from Planet Green
• Sep 16, 2011 5:02 pm

Read more: http://www.care2.com/greenliving/8-fun-ways-to-manage-stress.html#ixzz1YEwaorJX

All Channels Love & DatingBroken Hearts ClubLife After Divorce Emotional Effects Of Divorce

Most parents worry about the emotional effects of divorce on children. They may be worried enough to decide divorce is not “the right thing to do” and try to save their marriage. They may recognize that divorce is inevitable but be plagued with concern about how it is affecting their children.

It is important, then, that parents have a clear idea of what exactly the psychological effects of divorce on their children may be. They can then make a sound decision about divorce and work throughout divorce to minimize or avoid them altogether.
Before looking at the emotional effects of divorce on children, remember:

• They are potential effects
• Some apply to certain age groups more than others.
• The likelihood and extent of these emotional effects depends on a number of factors, almost all of which are within your control.

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The Debate on Spanking is Dead
By James C. Talbot
June 27, 2011

In public forums on the internet, we can certainly have lively debates over whether Hitler was a hero, or whether or not the holocaust ever occurred. Oh, yes, we could find a debate over whether slavery ever existed in the U.S.. We might even get an argument that the Earth is flat and always has been. And, given what has also yet to become common knowledge, we can still find arguments in favor of hitting young children as a form of punishment.

For example, those who developed through their formative years having adopted as a part of their belief system that adults hit children as an acceptable practice will take on this treatment of children as a belief not dissimilar to the religious beliefs they’ve adopted during this same stage of development. And, these are beliefs that tend to become deeply ingrained.

Those who happen to overcome and evolve beyond such irrational belief systems seem to be the exception to the rule. Sadly, it would seem that few children are able to avoid early childhood brainwashing to a particular religion or orientation. Typically, our little ones will buy into what we feed them lock stock and barrel.

Herein lies the problem of change in the face of overwhelming evidence. Let’s liken this change to telling a grown man that his name is actually Archibald instead of Joe. Lot’s of luck. It’s going to take awhile, no doubt and repeated efforts are in order.

So, once again, let’s try driving home the facts that carry with them the hope of breaking through just a few more of those bigoted obstacles still standing in the way of social progress.

To begin with, I feel it’s most important to make it very clearly known to any and all concerned, that the debate on spanking within the scientific and academic communities is dead, and has been for a number of years now. The most substantial indicator of this development is evidenced by the fact that virtually every professional organization in the U.S. and Canada concerned with the care and treatment of children, has taken a public stance against the practice of spanking.

Based on the overwhelming accumulation of research conducted over the past 50+ years linking spanking to a number of risk factors, the professional consensus against this practice has grown to world-wide proportions…even to the extent that Sweden, Finland, Austria, Norway, Croatia, Denmark, Hungary, Israel, Cyprus, Netherlands, Bulgaria, Germany, Latvia, Iceland, Romania, Greece, New Zealand, Venezuela, Spain, Portugal, Chile, Uruguay, and Ukraine have legislated total bans on spanking…. with Italy, South Africa, Scotland, Canada, and Ireland apparently in the process of following suit. It should also be noted that every industrialized country in the world has banned spanking in schools. The evidence is in, and the evidence has found against the practice of spanking in a compellingly conclusive manner.

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10 Signs Your Spouse is Below Average Looking

Have you ever looked over at your spouse when they are sleeping and thought- I could do better? Have you ever had the urge to run when you see your spouse coming? Are you embarrassed to introduce your spouse to your friends? If so, your spouse may be below average looking. Here are ten more signs that your spouse is unattractive:

1. They have to sneak up on the mirror.
2. You don’t have to worry about birth control… their face will do just fine.
3. When they were born the doctor took one look at them and slapped their parents.
4. Your pet name for them is Scooby-Doo.

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