Longevity in Marriage

By Darlene G. Snyder

How does a couple in today’s busy, high-paced world keep our relationships from fizzling? What does it take to keep us out of divorce court? I learned a long time ago that it takes considerable effort and willpower on the part of both parties to build a long-lasting and fulfilling marriage.

I chose to emulate my parents as well as my in-laws. Their loyalty to each other taught me what true commitment really is. They also taught me through their actions and experiences that while it is true it does take the two of you to work together, at some point in a relationship one of you will have to be the first to “give”. Both will have to be willing to release, let go of or give up something in order to save the marriage and somewhere along the way, this question will have to be answered, Is this relationship important enough to me to sacrifice something in order to salvage it?

The following are ideas that I have gleaned from my parents and in-laws, as well as experiences in my own marriage. Some of these ideas may seem outdated – but they work.

Communication

Talk to him. Write notes. Let him know how you feel. When we had only been married for fifteen years, my husband and I were at a place in our marriage where we were not talking. Each had issues with the other. I even considered leaving him. One night after I returned home from a conference, he picked up a note pad and pencil and began writing. He asked in his note if I was going to leave him. hat note lead to several pages of annotations written back and forward to each other. We poured our hearts out on paper. This written communication led to the healing in our marriage.

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