Marriage counseling can help with the breaking up so as not to draw out the pain couples are feeling. Breaking up is one of the hardest things for couples to do, after all, they both used to be in love and its hard for both parties involved to acknowledge that the good times are over. There is also the fear of the unknown and what will happen “next”. So how should you break up to make it as clean a break as possible?
Give it time
Quite often external influencing factors, such as work, will force one partner to change their behavior, making them unbearable to live with. If this happens and you feel the best solution is to split up, then the best thing is to recognise that your partner has changed because of an outside factor. Therefore, the best approach is to stay in touch and try to be as polite and friendly as possible (via email, occasional phone calls etc). This is because the external circumstances are likely to change again and so you should not burn your bridges.
Step Back
If you have tried all other avenues and the last possible option left is for you to break up, then the best approach is for you to start taking a step back from the relationship. This will enable you to gain emotional and physical distance, preparing you for the actual breaking up. But, try to use this time to evaluate as whether breaking up is really what you want to do.
Don’t make excuses
Don’t be tempted to make excuses for the breaking up. The problem with excuses is that sooner or later they will back fire and you will feel even worse. Its yet another worry on top of the actual breaking up, and also, your partner will inevitably start to think there are other reasons for the breaking up. This will not enable your partner to make a clean break as they would always feel that they are entitled to know the truth, for closure purposes if nothing else. You’d probably find they would be contacting you with any excuse, often sub-consciously.
Avoid blame
If there is absolutely no other options left other than breaking up, try to be tactful. “Not making excuses” does not mean you have to rip your partner’s heart out and step on it! By blaming your partner, even if they are at fault, you will just cause an unnecessary row and bad feeling between you. After all, you are going to break up anyway, so why do it with bad feelings? You will only create an enemy for yourself.
Understanding your moods and behaviour, marriage counseling and making up can help you to avoid the crisis you are faced with.

Marriage Counseling – Is Talking To A Marriage Counselor Worth The Cost?

by Samson Itoje

Marriage counseling is something people are quick to recommend when you have marital problems. Of course, they do this with good intentions. Friends and family who make those recommendations are convinced that speaking with a marriage counselor will somehow help you resolve your marital problems.

But marriage counseling can be expensive. Some marriage counselors charge as much as $150 per hour for consultation. That can be pretty expensive if you live in an economically challenged country. Besides, is it really worth the cost? Isn’t marriage counseling overrated?It depends on the way you look at it.

First, you must remember that a relationship expert is not perfect. Since he’s not perfect, his advice will not also be perfect. This means that you run the risk of talking to an ‘expert’ with a poor sense of judgment. What do you expect if the expert’s sense of judgment is poor? Bad advice. Bad strategy. Failure.

Here’s the complete picture. The relationship expert you choose to speak with may be smart, intelligent, and experienced. In this case, you’re likely to getthe best advice possible

Or . . .

The marriage counselor may be half-baked, dull, and unintelligent. In this case, expect to get the wrong advice or advice that is totally worthless.

Second, the relationship expert you consult with for marriage counseling may be dubious. A dubious marriage counselor can turn into a blackmailer. When you go for marriage counseling, it is customary to provideas much information as possible. Don’t expect sound advice if the person providing the advice has little knowledge of what your challenges are. This means that you must of necessity talk openly with the relationship expert you have chosen to speak with. There’s nothing wrong with this. However, things can turn sour if the relationship expert with whom you have discussed your marital problems turns out to be a riffraff. He can easily begin to blackmail you with the information you supplied him.

Third, discussing your relationship problems with a relationship expert will not make your problems disappear. For many, marital problems persist long after the couple have gone for marriagecounseling.

This brings us back to the question. Is marriage counseling worth the cost?

The answer is . . . yes.

Of course, marriage counseling has its flaws. But talking to a marriage counselor helps. However, you must speak to a relationship expert with a clear objective in mind. You must understand that the marriage counselor will assist you to solve your marital problems. The marriage counselor will not solve your marital problems for you.

What does that mean? This means that the relationship expert provides you with options and helps you see things in a new light. He expands your horizon and comes with a fresh perspective.

Who solves the problems? You. You must deal with your problems yourself. Your problem is your responsibility and you cannot run away from it.

For example, should you marry Philip or Kelvin? Who should decide that? You.

Another example. Should you get a divorce or stay and work things out with your partner? Who should decide that? You.

How does marriage counseling help you then? You lay out the problems. You lay out the circumstances. You list your limitations. You list your strengths. The marriage counselor will analyze the problems or issues on the basis of what is known to work in real life. He may provide you with additional resources or supply supporting data. He will lay out the choices for you. Thereafter you must choose the path to follow. This is your life. You alone can decide what you want to do with it.

Does marriage counseling help?

Of course!

If relationship experts don’t provide a valuable service, they will soon be out of business. They know this. So they seek to maintain a high level of ethical standard in their practice. And they work hard to give their clients the best advice possible.

Having said that, you must understand that everything in life has advantages and disadvantages. Marriage counseling does. And so does everything else in life. So, if you have serious marital problems, don’t hesitate to talk to a relationship expert.

Marriage counseling really helps.

About the author: Samson Itoje is a relationship expert. He offers marriage counseling services athttp://www.true-love-relationship-advice.com/relation ship-rescue.html. Looking for love advice? Talk to Samson Itoje.