March 22, 2005 — The old saying about marriage that “what’s good for the goose is good for the gander” is getting some scientific support.

Cultivating your own happiness could make your spouse happier, too.

“A married man is significantly more satisfied with his life when his wife becomes more satisfied with hers, and vice versa,” says British researcher Nick Powdthavee.

In fact, the positive impact of having a happy spouse can offset major problems such as unemployment or hospitalization, he says.

However, there’s a twist. The happiness data hinges on marriage. Unmarried couples living together didn’t show the same pattern, says Powdthavee.

Happy Husband, Happy Wife

It’s not easy to turn an ethereal emotion like happiness into concrete science. But Powdthavee, who works in the University of Warwick’s economics department, gave it his best shot.

He took information from the 1996-2000 British Household Panel Survey. That included 9,700 married people and some 3,300 unmarried people living with their partner. All were 16-65 years old.

The survey’s topics included life satisfaction, education, income, and health.

Based on those answers, Powdthavee used a complicated mathematical formula and principles from psychology to parse the nitty-gritty details of happiness. He found that in married couples, happiness can overflow from one spouse to their partner.

When a husband or wife notches up their own happiness level, the positive impact on their spouse is big, says Powdthavee. How big? Here’s how he puts it:

“It is significantly greater than the effect of owning a house outright; it can completely offset the non-[financial] cost of unemployment; it is equal to not having to spend around two months in the hospital last year,” says Powdthavee.

That’s based on a 30% increase in happiness in the spouse not facing those problems. In other words, happiness can be contagious — in a good way — in marriage, even for a partner facing burdens.

“This paper has shown that married people have become more satisfied with their life over the years merely because their spouses have become happier with theirs,” says Powdthavee.

Some people, by nature, are happier than others. The results take that into account.

Unmarried Couples — Not so Fast

The same results weren’t seen among unmarried couples who lived together. The reasons for that aren’t clear. Perhaps unmarried couples are less committed or tend to focus more on themselves, instead of on their partner’s well-being over time, says Powdthavee.

He says this is consistent with studies showing a higher break-up rate and eventual marriage failure by those cohabiting with a partner compared with a spouse.

It’s certainly possible to be happy (and concerned about others) inside or outside of marriage. And as the U.S. divorce rate shows, marriage doesn’t guarantee happiness.

The findings were presented in Nottingham, U.K., at the Royal Economic Society’s annual conference.

A client’s story prompted this post. It has to do with staying in therapy.

She was 17 and, in her terms, a mess.  She had been fighting with her mother endlessly.  On her own, she got herself to therapy.  The therapist helped her.  She provided insight, reflection, another point of view, warmth, and a better female role model.  Then, everything changed.  She got some advice from her big sister.  The big sister said to quit therapy and get a job.  Her sister said things would get better, faster, that way.

She listened to her sister.  Then things got worse.  She started to do badly in school, she started to use drugs, and she acted out sexually.  Finally, she realized that she wasn’t getting anywhere.  She got herself back in therapy and started to get better.  Her lesson:  If you’re a mess, stay in therapy!!!!

I urge the same road in working with my clients.  Too often they get an early breakthrough and some insight.  Some of the pressure is relieved.  So they feel they can quit.  I urge them to reconsider.  I suggest several sessions to sum up what they have learned and what issues still need resolution.  If they still feel finished, I leave open the option of having them call me and also of returning to therapy.  I don’t judge what they’re saying, but I do express my concerns,

So, if you’re thinking of ending therapy, particularly if you’re still experiencing problems, don’t just end it.  Open it as a discussion with your therapist.  Find out what s/he thinks and find out if you can return.

Sex is an essential part of marriage. It’s what makes the union so special and intimate, and it’s one way to nurture a loving and caring relationship. Recently, there has been a lot of discussion about how often a couple should have sex and if minimal sex means your marriage has gone bad.
The truth is; there is no magic number of times you should have sex, and a decrease in sexual activity does not necessarily mean your marriage is on the rocks. There are a few core reasons why couples stop having sex.
Life has become too busy: Every working adult knows what it means to be “too busy.” You start your day at 6 AM, get to work at 8 AM, come home at 6 PM, make dinner and get the kids ready for bed. This is your routine every day. By the time you get yourself to bed, you’re too exhausted to even think about having sex, let alone doing it. It may sound unromantic, but if you want to find time for sex, you’re going to have to schedule a designated time for it (the anticipation will actually become very romantic). You don’t need to write it on a calendar; just make an agreement with your partner to have sex every Saturday night or the evening when the kids are at soccer practice. As with anything in life; if you want it, you have to make a plan to get it.

One partner has been turned down too many times: Think about it; how many times in the past month have you turned down your partner’s advances? After a while, someone who wants sex but never gets it will begin to think that their partner is trying to avoid them. This can be a self-esteem and relationship killer. It can even lead to infidelity. If you tend to turn sex down because you are too tired or too busy, make a plan to start scheduling time for it, as described above. Also, it is important that you tell your partner that you love them and that it has nothing to do with them.

The everyday worries of life keep you keep you from “getting in the mood”: Life is full of stress and anxiety, which can suppress all romantic emotions. However, this is exactly why you need to have sex. Sex releases endorphins that give you a feeling of euphoria and decrease stress. Sex also strengthens your partnership, and a strong partnership is necessary for everyday support in your marriage.

Poor health of one or both partners: The reality of life is that sometimes one or both partner’s health will not allow them to have frequent sex (or sex at all). When this happens, the most important thing to do is communicate your feelings about the situation. Remain supportive and find other ways to get intimate.

One partner is unfaithful: Sometimes your partner is no longer interested in sex, because they are having an affair. It is very important that you eliminate all other reasons and exhaust all remedies before coming to this conclusion. In addition, some unfaithful partners say that they were actually interested in having more sex with their husband or wife when they were having an affair, so this reason can be hard to validate.
A sexless marriage can be one that involves no sex at all or one that involves sex once a month. Basically, the idea of “sexless marriage” changes depending on whom you ask. As with all marriages, communication is the key to discovering and solving relationship problems. As long as both partners are satisfied with their sex lives, there is really no problem with having sex once a month or even never. Loving one another and happiness on both sides is really all that matters.

Nancy Johnson works in the health care field and owns the site http://www.medicalbillingdegree.org/.

10 Fights Every Young Couple Has

Where you can learn all you need to know about the best dating sites!

10 Ways to Win Every Fight with Your Boyfriend

As the saying goes, all’s fair in love and war, which is worth keeping in mind during a spat with your beau. It may not be important that you to win every time; but it pays to know in the heat of battle that you can. Allow us, young grasshopper, to train you in the art of war, lover’s quarrel style. Read on, and discover 10 ways that you can win every fight with your boyfriend:

1. Keep Good Notes – As with any good pupil, you would do well to maintain a solid record file to which you can refer when needed. There’s no substitute for the ability to recall every instance in the past 5 years when he has failed to keep a promise.
2. Exhibit A: Bachelor Party Photos – Facebook is a wonderful thing, especially that photo tagging thing they do. You can also thank his newlywed buddy, for posting this handy little addition to your arsenal.
3. “If you love me, you’ll …” – This one is old school manipulation all the way, but in a pinch it’s pure gold. Pick your spots wisely and be judicious in its application, however, as it has a tendency to lose its effect through overuse.
4. Momma’s Girl – Winning over his mother is like gaining “god mode” in a video game. You are invincible. When you’ve got his Mom on your side, he’ll fold like a cheap suit.
5. Keep Him Busy – If you have a bone to pick with your boyfriend, your best bet is to choose a time when he’s distracted with something else, like a sporting event.
6. Stack the Deck – The strategic objective is simple: pick only fights that you know you can win, resulting in a formidable winning streak that will render him less willing to engage you in the future. After you’ve notched a nice winning streak for yourself, your opponent boyfriend will eventually lose his will to fight.
7. The Oprah Gambit – This tactic requires some experience to pull off successfully, but it’s a highly effective strategy when properly employed. The idea is to broach the general subject of your argument, in the company of some of your girlfriends, and with him present. The key is to be conversational, not confrontational. The effect should be to illustrate a consensus  that will make him less likely to challenge you later when you’re alone together.
8. Coitus Interruptus – AKA the carrot-and-stick maneuver, it’s basically a question of timing and an opportunistic exploitation of conflicting priorities. Need we say more?
9. Killing with Kindness – If you preface your fights with flattery and lavish attention, you will have fattened him up for the verbal slaughter that ensues, ladies.
10. Cry – When all else fails, reach for the waterworks, and let those tears flow. It’s a time-honored move that will assure you victory in short order.

1 | 2 | 3 | 4

It’s interesting how travel to a new and exciting destination can put the spark back into your relationship. The ability to easily explore new destinations and learn about other cultures is a true gift of living in this century and couples who embark on adventures together – even adventures that cost little – often report that they come back refreshed and renewed, rejoicing in the experiences they’ve shared together.

Choosing a destination – especially for those who have a long bucket list of places they wish to visit – can be difficult. Some couples insist on a beach vacation while others choose adventure. On the other hand, there are many couples who prefer to stick to exploring the world’s most notable cities – New York, Chicago, Paris, Rome, Barcelona. While the large cities are wonderful, why not consider choosing an urban locale that’s a bit smaller but still brimming with excitement and charm?

Belfast, Ireland fits that description to a tee. Often overlooked for the more cosmopolitan Dublin, Belfast has a character all its own, carved out by its rich maritime history as well as its years of strife. While it’s true that if you mention Belfast to most travelers they think about the IRA and war-torn Northern Ireland; the fact is that since the late 1990s, the city has been violence-free and is experiencing a renaissance that has been attracting more and more visitors.

Take a look around and it’s easy to see why. Belfast is truly a charming city and, as an added perk, it’s quite easy to get around on foot or by automobile. There are plenty of wonderful parks and gardens, a plethora of historic buildings, fun pubs and restaurants, and enough places to explore to keep you busy for days.

Accommodations

Once you’ve chosen Belfast as your second honeymoon destination, the first thing you’ll probably do is search for a place to stay during your visit. Like most cities, Belfast offers a wealth of different kind of accommodations, but for couples seeking a bit of romance, the city’s B&Bs and guest houses offer the most private and – often – some of the most affordable lodging.

As you shop for accommodations, look for an en suite room in a classic townhouse or single home in a quiet residential Belfast neighborhood for the best of both worlds – plenty of privacy and close proximity to the city’s theaters, museums, and other attractions. And if you tell the proprietor you’re celebrating your second honeymoon, many will arrange some special perks for you, such as in-room champagne, some fresh flowers, or maybe even a special meal. Furthermore, B&Bs are often void of those trappings that take time away from the hours you want to spend with your partner, including TVs and computers. That means it’s just the two of you with plenty of time to get to know one another again.

Of course, if you want to live like royalty while visiting Northern Ireland, book a stay in a room at a castle like Ballygally, some of which have sea views that are nothing short of breathtaking. The prices are quite affordable, the rooms romantic, and the experience totally awesome!

If, however, you prefer a traditional hotel setting, your choices are many, including lots of well-known chain hotels, like the Hilton Belfast, providing a 5-minute walk to the city center and stunning river views that are a treat to behold. Hotels provide amenities that you won’t find in B&Bs and castles, like swimming pools, spa services, a fitness room, restaurants, and more.

Exploring the City

If you’re into sightseeing, you’ll find there’s plenty to see and do around Belfast. One of the city’s major claims to fame is its link to the Titanic (the ship was built there), and with 2012 being the 100^th anniversary of the ship’s infamous voyage, there are more Titanic-related events than ever for history buffs to enjoy. A must-do is the new Titanic Belfast, opening at the end of March 2012, a 6-story attraction situated right beside where the yard where ship was built. Galleries will feature a variety of exhibits ranging from the vessel’s conception to its disastrous maiden voyage to the discovery of the wreck not so many years ago. Fascinating!

There are plenty of other museums to visit in and around Belfast as well. One of the finest, the Ulster Museum, exhibits a combination of fine art works, fascinating natural specimens, and plenty of historical artifacts, not only from Ireland but from cultures around the world. This world class museum is just one of several in a group known as the National Museums of Northern Ireland. You may also want to check out the Ulster Folk and Transport Museum for more local and regional history.

Real romantics, however, need to take time to visit and explore Northern Ireland’s beautiful castles, like Belfast Castle, which sits at 400 feet above sea level and provides one of the best views available of the city of Belfast. Built in the late 12^th century, it was refurbished in the late 1970s and has been the city’s top tourist attraction for quite some time. There are plenty of other castles (and castle ruins) in the surrounding parts of Antrim County, so consider taking a castle tour for a true look at ancient Ireland.

Venturing Out

If you don’t want to limit your activities to just the city, there is more to enjoy in areas that are an easy drive (or train ride) from Belfast city center. The Northern Ireland coast, for example, is home to a number of stunning beaches where you and your sweetheart can spend hours in the sun and surf. The coastland is truly stunning and you’ll be awed by the natural limestone rock formations, the emerald waters, and the cool, white sands. Though some of the beaches aren’t suitable for swimming, most are perfect for an afternoon or early evening romantic picnic and many are secluded enough to give you that privacy you seek, especially in the off-season. Look for some great castle ruins along the coast as well, like Dunluce, where you can enjoy sunsets that’ll knock your socks off.

The Save My Marriage Solution

The Ultimatum – Be Careful!

Have you been asking yourself “How do I save my marriage?”

Have you thought about giving your spouse an ULTIMATUM? Something like, “If you don’t stop XYZ, this marriage is over.”

Is your spouse having an AFFAIR, hooked on PORN, addicted to DRUGS or ALCOHOL, a WORKAHOLIC, too emotionally close to an OPPOSITE SEX FRIEND, or OBSESSIVE about a hobby or activity?

How do you get your spouse to STOP behavior that’s destroying your marriage?

An ultimatum is an interesting idea. I bet a friend or family member even suggested it. I’m sure it’s crossed your mind. Maybe it was even advised by your counselor. But will it work?

If you want to be able to say “I saved my marriage,” do NOT give your spouse an ultimatum. It will NOT work. Let me explain why. And let me explain how YOU CAN get your spouse to end their affair or stop their addictive or obsessive behavior.

In a sense, it’s empowering to think, and even say to your spouse, “Your behavior is unacceptable. And if it doesn’t stop, I’m leaving you.” An ultimatum offers the ultimate role reversal. It puts you, the victim, in control. Understandably, that’s appealing. And there’s no doubt that in the SHORT RUN, you’ll FEEL better. But it also FEELS good to eat dessert after every meal. Just because something FEELS good does NOT mean it is good. The question you have to ask yourself is: Will the LONG TERM effect be good? Will an ultimatum give me the result I want? Will it lead to me saving my marriage?

The answer is NO.

Now I know what you’re thinking, “Mort, what about TOUGH LOVE? Don’t I have to set borders and boundaries?”

If you give your spouse an ultimatum, you’ll establish clear RULES for your marriage. You’ll set borders and boundaries. But where will the MOTIVATION come from for your spouse to live by the rules? In other words, the rules will be clear, but why would your spouse WANT to adhere to them?

If your spouse is a sex addict, a workaholic, an alcoholic, having an affair, into porn, or involved in any other type of obsessive or destructive behavior, the problem is NOT a lack of rules; it’s a lack of MOTIVATION to live by the rules.

Your spouse knows their behavior is wrong. Even if they won’t admit it, even if they justify it, deep down they know that their behavior is immoral and that it’s destroying your marriage and soiling their soul. The problem is that they don’t care. The problem is that they lack an internal MOTIVATION to do the right thing.

Your spouse has to WANT to stop. The key is their inner motivation, their WILL. An ultimatum imposes rules from the outside; it does nothing to address the lack of motivation on the inside.

Bottom line: although giving an ultimatum feels good, it misses your target.

Your target is your spouse’s inner motivation. And how do you affect someone’s inner motivation? The secret is to CONNECT with them. Let me explain.

Life begins as a connected experience in the womb of our mother. When we’re born and that physical connection is severed, we yearn to connect again. How we go about creating that connection and how well we succeed becomes the story of our life.

People who make healthy and meaningful connections with other people feel happy and fulfilled. (Research proves that the single most important factor that determines happiness in life is CONNECTEDNESS.) People who lack a real emotional connection with others will grasp at anything in an attempt to fill that void in their life. That’s what leads people to sex, drugs, alcohol, hours of mindless TV, falling in love over and over again with new people, or an obsessive commitment to money, success, work, or a hobby. These trappings offer a MOMENTARY filling. But the cause of the emptiness your spouse seeks to fill is a lack of a meaningful CONNECTION in their life.

When you create that connection with your spouse, you accomplish two profound things.

First, you eliminate your spouse’s desire for their destructive behavior. You take the wind right out of its sail. You cut it off at its source. They don’t need it anymore. There’s no more hole to fill. YOU filled it!

Second, you offer your spouse a permanent filling for a hole that’s been insatiable probably since their childhood. (Your spouse’s destructive behaviors can probably be traced back to a disconnected relationship they had with their mother or father). And their DESIRE for your connection, a REAL and LASTING filling of that hole, will trump any momentary interest in seductive pleasures.

So how do you get your spouse to stop their destructive behavior? You create a connection with them.

Now here’s the kicker.

The chances are very good that YOU have no clue how to deeply CONNECT with your spouse.

Disconnected people tend to marry disconnected people. In other words, you picked your spouse BECAUSE they’re disconnected, and that was safe and familiar for you. (Your spouse is probably like your mother or father.) You didn’t have to make a real connection to your spouse and that’s why you fell in love with them. Your spouse didn’t need what you couldn’t offer. Do you see how that worked? It’s totally dysfunctional, but it’s true.

Now don’t misunderstand, I’m not saying that your spouse’s inappropriate behavior is your fault. But it is your RESPONSIBILITY. Meaning, that you can choose (if you want) to do something about it. You can impact your spouse’s choices and save your marriage. But you’ll need to learn to forge a real connection with your spouse, and you’ll need to learn to do that WITHOUT your spouse’s cooperation.

If you’re ready to do that, if you want to be able to say “Yes, I saved my marriage,” then enter your email below and I’ll send you my free report “7 Secrets to Saving Your Marriage.”

Save My Marriage

Save your troubled marriage and start enjoying life again!

Differences Between Men And Women (May 7, 2008 )

Why Communication Can Save your Marriage (May 7, 2008 )

Ten Sure Fire Ways to Destroy your Marriage (May 7, 2008 )

Six common reasons for divorce: Save your marriage and stop divorce (May 7, 2008 )

Boy meets girl. They go out on a few dates. Their mutual attraction blossoms into friendship. From friendship, love grows and the couple decides to share their lives together. They get married. They have a few children. And somewhere, as the years go by, that friendship, respect, and love is overpowered by anger, resentment, and eventual divorce. Many couples even wonder why they got divorced in the first place, finding it difficult to pinpoint exactly when their bond began to unravel. Others may find fault with their spouse, thus blaming them for the marriage ending. How can two people who once loved each other; two people who shared their hopes, dreams, and lives together go from marital bliss to divorce? How can you save your marriage and stop divorce?
According to the U.S. Census Bureau, more than half of marriages end in divorce. In fact, less people are getting marriage according to U.S. Today. Citing the fear of divorce as the chief reason for postponing or even avoiding marriage, they report that 62% of Americans were married in 1990 whereas only half of Americans are married today. Dr. James Long, a published author and marriage counselor, says the reasons for increased divorce rates can be attributed to mobility, affluence, and isolation. Mobility: Traditionally, people lived and died in the place they were born; therefore, marrying people they grew up with and, as such, shared similar lifestyles and ideals. Today, however, many people travel to other states for school or work meeting a variety of people who come from diverse backgrounds. Affluence: In times past, couples relied on each other for survival since resources were limited. Each worked together to maintain homes, provide for the family, as well as each other’s personal needs. Yet, with today’s abundance, says Dr. Long, people are less reliant on each other for basic needs such as housing, food, clothing, or even entertainment and fulfillment. Isolation: With increased technology mediums, such as the Internet, people are more isolated from each other than ever before. “People live in isolation these days,” says Dr. Long. “[As such] they do not get to observe others and see how actions have long term consequences. Instead, they live in an unrealistic dream world created by fiction entertainment, journalism, and advertising. As a result, they have world views that are more conducive to causing disasters in the physical world that their bodies live in,” he says.
While Dr. Long’s explanation may be too broad and simplistic, it provides a base for why many marriages result in divorce. Exploring this concept further, here are six common reasons why many marriages fail:

• Assuming instead of asking—failure to communicate. There is a reason why a catchy phrase about assumptions has been coined. So many people fall into the trap of not communicating; however, open two-way communication is essential in every relationship. Before getting married, each person should have a fairly accurate idea about what the other person wants and expects from marriage; you should know each other’s personal philosophies and beliefs, goals, aspirations, strengths and weaknesses, family traditions, spending habits, and other likes/dislikes. If you marry someone who needs “me time” at the end of the work today, and you crave togetherness and intimacy, you cannot assume that person will suddenly become extroverted during marriage. In truth, marriage is about bridging two lives into one. It requires compromise and sacrifice. Yet, by assuming something(s) about your partner and what your marriage will be like, you are setting both yourself and your spouse up for disappointment (even failure). Marriage is not only about sharing a bed; rather, sharing yourself, which requires communication.

• Unrealistic expectations. When we love someone, their faults and quirks seem very unimportant. When you agree to share your live with someone, you are not thinking about the fact he leaves dishes piled up in the sink or if she leaves bras hanging on the door knobs. And, truthfully, these quirks are relatively trial in the grand scheme of it all. After all, no one is perfect. We would hope that our loved ones could see past our faults and limitations, so we can look beyond the quirks and see the reasons we love our spouse. Yet, it is important to remember that while marriage is deeply rewarding it does not transform your disorganized boyfriend into a neat freak. What annoys you as a single adult will become more intensified as you share your life and home with another person. Many adults, with this in mind, think that living together before marriage will help identify and remedy this; however, living together is not marriage. Choosing to marry someone is about commitment. Suddenly two individuals are united in a unique and profound bond. Marriage intensifies our feelings for another person. So, if you expect to find that your beloved’s love for golf is going to disappear, and spend all his free time with you—and you alone—you are bringing unrealistic expectations to the marriage. Again, this is where communication becomes vitally important.

• Rescuing or reforming. Remember, you are choosing to marry someone because you love them for who they are—this includes their faults, quirks, limitations, weaknesses, past mistakes, and other habits. If your intended spouse has a drinking problem, you may be able to help them overcome that; however, they must choose to get well because they truly want to be (and not because you are demanding it). Additionally, that person deserves to be married to someone who wants to share their life with them, not necessarily save their life (or change them).

• Differences in religion and culture. Marriage, fundamentally, is about two different people coming together to share their lives. Yet, studies show that religion and culture have significant impacts on relationships. If you were raised in a religious household and wish to raise your children as such, yet your spouse prefers to avoid the subject of religion this will create tension. Religion and culture help shape our ideals, even shape us as people. Marriage is about complimenting each other, and personal philosophies/ideas/beliefs/traditions are key to bridging the gap and fostering uniting between husband and wife.

• Money. Experts say that the main reason marriages fail today are due to financial disputes. While money is not everything, it is certainly an important aspect of our daily lives. We rely on money to pay rent, buy food and clothes, to provide for our children, and perform a host of daily activities. It is essential that intended spouses know the other’s spending habits, thoughts about money and financial planning, and even budget before getting married. Even if each spouse earns their own money, it is important that the couple be open and honest about financial matters. Money management becomes a key part of the partnership; each person has a responsibility to do it together. In marriage, it is no longer about the individual; rather, what is the best for each other.

• Not letting bygones be bygones. It inevitable—there will be difficult times in a marriage. Even the strongest marriages experience trials. Whether it is illness, the death of a child, unemployment, or other unexpected curve balls that life presents, there will be challenges. Remember, when choosing to get married you are agreeing to help carry each other’s burdens. You are committing to stand by each other, even when it is difficult. Love is work. Nothing worthwhile ever came without hard work. Yet, so many couples fall into the trap of dwelling on each other’s faults, or allowing the stresses of life consume them, that they forget to let bygones be bygones. Eventually annoyance leads to resentfulness, which breeds the seeds of anger and hate. Then, one day, this person you once admired and loved turns into someone who rather not associate with at all. Differences are reasons to celebrate the other person; to learn and grow from each other. In that, we become more united. In that, we find more reasons to love the other person.

By learning how to overcome such pitfalls, you can save your marriage. And by learning how you can save your marriage, you can stop divorce. For more information about how to save your marriage, please visit

Many experts have noted that when a couple can laugh together and share a genuine sense of humor, they are more likely to move past marital difficulties that often lead to couples counseling. Not only is humor a “shared language,” it can often diffuse the tension during a heated moment.

It’s important to look for a sense of humor in a partner before settling down with that person. Do they get your jokes or are you often met with a confused, icy silence? Do they take offense to your humor? (In that case, it may be the person’s oversensitivity or you may have to work on your delivery!)

Whatever way you look at it, laughter between a couple creates a deep, enjoyable bond. Sharing laughter and enjoying each other’s company is ultimately what it’s all about. Here’s what one expert has to say:

We look for humor in a person because we want them to feel good by being with us and we want them to feel good about themselves in their decisions. We also want ourselves to feel good and to relax and have fun and a great time. Therefore when we date someone, humor is a must if we are going to ever reach a level of relaxation in the company of that person. Laughter and humor is about creating a mental connection and understanding about the world around us. It is a demonstration of a commonly accepted set of beliefs between us and it allows a demonstration of a level of understanding quickly not known in almost any other form.

Having a good laugh with your partner is more than just a lark – it’s a centering technique. Couples relax with one another, they feel a deeper bond, they heal and heck, it’s just plain fun!