Keys to a Successful Marriage – Building Intimacy and Trust

By Brian Leiphart

A successful marriage these days may seem elusive when reading the statistics on marriages. Even the statistics are listed in the negative. We speak of divorce rates not success rates in our media. Two keys to successful marriage lie in building trust and intimacy in the marriage.

A successful marriage requires both intimacy and trust but will never be found in that order. Early romantic and wildly passionate relationships should not be misconstrued as intimate. Real intimacy is the reward of the process of building trust and understanding in a relationship.

Trust is the foundation of an intimate relationship, not the other way around. Trust can be inherent from the beginning of a relationship but unfortunately that isn’t always the case. Individuals come from different backgrounds with previous relationships with previous partners and also family members and friends. There may be obstacles from the past that need to be overcome before the relationship will move to true intimacy.

Building that level of trust may take a short time or it may take years. Any breach of trust along the way will greatly prolong the process. During the process there must be a shared sense of purpose moving forward. Working through past hurts, insecurities or fears. There must be transparency and openness between the partners. To allow for transparency and openness each partner must feel safe doing so. They can not feel they will be judged or ostracized for their past.

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