7 Relationship Problems and How to Solve Them

It’s the rare couple that doesn’t, sooner or later, run into a few bumps in the road. If you recognize ahead of time what those relationship problems can be, you’ll have a much better chance of weathering the storm, experts say.

Ideally, a couple should discuss certain basic issues — such as money, sex, and kids — before they decide to start their life together. Of course, even when you do discuss these issues beforehand, marriage (or a long-term, live-in relationship) is nothing like you think it’s going to be.

In spite of the fact that every marriage experiences relationship problems, couples who are successful have learned how to manage them and keep their love life going, says marriage and family therapist Mitch Temple, MS, author of The Marriage Turnaround. They gain success in marriage by hanging in there, tackling problems, and learning how to maneuver through the complex issues of everyday married life. Many do this by reading self-help books, attending seminars, browsing articles on the Web, going to counseling, observing other successful couples, or simply by trial and error.

Here are some common issues and ways to resolve them:

Relationship Problem: Communication

All relationship problems stem from poor communication skills, says Elaine Fantle Shimberg, author of Blending Families. “You can’t communicate while you’re checking your BlackBerry, watching TV, or flipping through the sports section,” she says.

Problem-solving strategies:

• Make time … yes, an actual appointment with each other, Shimberg says. If you live together, put the cell phones on vibrate, put the kids to bed, and let the answering machine pick up your calls.
• If you can’t “communicate” without raising your voices, go to a public spot like the library, park, or restaurant, where you’d be embarrassed if anyone saw you screaming.
• Set up some rules … like not interrupting until the other is through, banning phrases such as “You always …” or “You never …”
• Remember that a large part of communication is listening, so be sure your body language reflects that. That means, don’t doodle, look at your watch, pick at your nails, etc. Nod so the other person knows you’re getting the message and rephrase if necessary, such as, “What I hear you saying is that you feel as though you have more chores at home, even though we’re both working.” If you’re right, the other can confirm, and if what the other person really meant was, hey, you’re a slob and you create more work for me by having to pick up after you, perhaps they’ll say so but in a nicer way.

Relationship Problem: Sex

Even partners who love each other can be incompatible sexually. Compounding these problems, says Mary Jo Fay, is the fact that men and women alike are sorely lacking in sex education and sexual self-awareness. Yet, having sex is one of the last things we should be giving up, says Fay, who addresses the topic in her new book, Please Dear, Not Tonight. “Sex brings us closer together, releases hormones that help our bodies both physically and mentally, and keeps the chemistry of a healthy couple healthy,” she says.

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Answer

Ourselves.. Because we look for a magic pill to solve our problems. The understanding of the problems lies it’s dissolution..

Answer

You. Never blame others for your own problems. I believe people have bad luck sometimes, but it is always up to you to change the outcome.

Answer

Man always leaned upon their own understandings instead of looking at how the out come my affect others. Each action we do, plays a huge part in our life and it’s up to us if we are willing to make the right changes.

answer

there can be more than one answer here. Satan, you, and God. Satan always wants to hurt you, especially if you don’t belong to him, You can make bad decisions and hurt yourself, God allows things to come your way to build your character. If you invite Jesus to be Lord of yur life, nothing will ever happen to you without it getting by God first, and if it does, you can be sure some how, some way , it is for your good.

Another Perspective

Asking who is to blame is the wrong question. It doesn’t matter. What matters is what you are going to do about the problems in your life… how you are going to face them and overcome them. Problems come to everyone… some we can avoid and some we can’t, but the point is, we need to face those problems, learn from them, and improve our lives because of them. If we stand around arguing about whose fault it is, we are letting them control us, rather than the other way around.

Yet Another Prospective…
Blame is like trying to back out of an accident after it happens. You cannot change the past. You CAN choose the future. You can spend your time after the accident making things worse by ruminating and trying to recreate the past. Or you can spend the time trying to make what happens next…better. You do this by replacing blame with taking responsibility. Unless you are trying to win a court lawsuit, blame is not constructive, it is really just drama and ego defense in action.

My philosophy is this: “Everything that happens to me in my life is the result of some decision (big or small) that Imade at some point along the way, that ultimately affected the outcome.” Think about it…

Answer

Sometimes you just have to let go .. and look up , and see that the order of things in this world is still growing like a little child.

Another Answer

I think you should be asking yourself that because sooner or later you’re going to come to the conclusion that everybody fears to hear and learn… It’s all your fault. you choose the path you take (of course unless you live with your demanding parents. but even then you can choose your path). People ask this question to try to relieve themselves of the responsibility because they cant handle it…. but rarely there is someone else that is at fault, but if you let them continue then it will only be your own fault. As i see it people may think God or The Devil have something to do with this… but they don’t. God watches over you and is there when you need to talk. the devil eggs you on but doesn’t force you to do anything, he lies and tells you things to TRY to make you go to the bad path. but you make the decisions and if you let the devil control you it means you’re weak and need time. Just think about it somewhat like the poem “the road not taken” by Robert Frost:

TWO roads diverged in a yellow wood,And sorry I could not travel bothAnd be one traveler, long I stoodAnd looked down one as far as I couldTo where it bent in the undergrowth;Then took the other, as just as fair,And having perhaps the better claim,Because it was grassy and wanted wear;Though as for that the passing thereHad worn them really about the same,And both that morning equally layIn leaves no step had trodden black.Oh, I kept the first for another day!Yet knowing how way leads on to way,I doubted if I should ever come back.I shall be telling this with a sighSomewhere ages and ages hence:Two roads diverged in a wood, and I-I took the one less traveled by,And that has made all the difference.

And you can make a difference… a difference for good. and not committing anything bad so you wont have to blame anyone else for things you choose and remember: “Don’t regret something that once made you laugh” …. or smile, love, etc, etc

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Blaming others for your problems

We all dealt with people who blame others all the time and who try to appear to be right by making others appear to be wrong.

Such people are usually afraid to admit that they share a part of the responsibility and so feel more comfortable when someone else carries the blame for a bad thing that happened to them.

Sometimes the act of blaming others can be a cry of pain and a request for support, when the person desperately wants someone else to fix something for him he might blame him in order to motivate himto take action.

All of these kinds of blame are obvious and can be noticed by any person without difficulty but there is a more dangerous type of blaming that is too vague to be noticed and in the same time so powerful and effective to the extent that the person who gets the blame might feel that he is wrong even if he was right.

Blaming others the vague way

“You are Selfish and you only think about yourself”

While this statement can be said to a selfish person it can also come out of a person who was hurt and who found no other way to feel better other than blaming someone else for the pain he feels.

Instead of saying I felt bad because you left me alone that day he denied the responsibility by throwing the blame on someone else.

The same goes for telling someone that he is arrogant instead of admitting that you were afraid that he didn’t like you. Sometimes we give labels to other people such as selfish, arrogant or stubborn in order to get rid of the responsibility and to escape from solving our problems.

It’s much harder to take actions, to solve our problems and to get rid of our emotional wounds than to just blame someone else for our pain.

How to stop blaming others?

• Your childhood & blaming others::If you blame others for your problems then most probably you are still attached to the way you used to be as a child. Children always blame others because they haven’t yet learned how to be responsible for their actions.
• Acceptance and blame: Blaming others is usually an indication of the lack of ability to accept and cope with different situations that occur. Learning how to accept things the right way will certainly help you stop blaming others.
• Weakness & Blaming others:The person who blames others is usually in the week position and he tries to gain some power over the situation by blaming other people. If you want to stop blaming others then you should learn how to become in control of your life, how to be stronger and how to face different life problems.

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